The Second Day of Every Third Month
by naturesownmelody
Summary: Knowing where you belong is only half the battle. Eric/OC. AU. Slowburn.
1. Chapter One

The Second Day of Every Third Month - Chapter One

Arguably my least favorite day of every quarter of the year, and yet today is so much more special than any other that has come before it.

For as long as I can remember I have hated getting my hair cut, something about allowing it all the time to grow out and then cutting it all off just so you can wait a few months to repeat the whole process has always bothered me.

I was quite literally yanked out of my thoughts by my father tugging on my hair before snipping it off.

Brown tresses slowly floated down before settling by my feet. When I was younger my mother would cut my hair, but for the last couple years my dad has been taking pleasure in the event. If he wasn't so harsh about it I might admit that he did a decent job. Looking up through my lashes I eye the smirk on his face via the mirror before me. My eyes ghosted over my own face before settling on his.

His hair was a dark brown, almost black just like mine, but with age he had taken on the salt and pepper look, and it suited him. The lines around his eyes and mouth were faint, the only time you could really tell how old he was, was when he smiled, and the only time he ever smiled was when he cut my hair.

Part of me wants to paint my father as a cruel man but he isn't, he is selfless and he is loving. The only time he ever gets to show his love is on these days when we open the mirror, when we cut our hair.

Growing up in Abnegation I had always known that I didn't belong, but recently it has become more and more apparent that my father didn't belong either. Yes he was selfless and he believed wholeheartedly in the Abnegation manifesto, but I could always see something beneath that selflessness that had been ingrained in him since birth. Maybe my father longed to transfer, but had missed his chance, had made a mistake when his Choosing Ceremony came about, and now he regretted it, all too late of course.

"Penelope, I am done with you. Will you please go grab your little sister so I may cut her hair?" His tone was soft and loving, but looking at his eyes in the mirror before it closed I saw the regret, the need to escape, and for once in my life I felt bad for my father because he had missed his chance to leave because he didn't know who he really was, and here I sat before him one hundred percent assured in my decision even without the aptitude test I would take today.

"Yes, thank you Father." I rose from my seat keeping my head bowed towards the ground.

Downstairs my mother sat with my little sister Rose who looked a miniature version of my mother.

My mother had been an Amity transfer which anyone could tell right of the bat just looking at her. Her perpetually tan skin and beautiful golden blonde hair stood in bright contrast with the plain grey attire of the Abnegation faction. The same could be said for Rose, who was ten, with her tan skin and blonde hair, the only thing that separated Rose and my mother besides the age gap was the gap in Rose's mouth where her front tooth had finally fallen out. Deep inside a part of me I would never reveal to my family, I longed to be beautiful like my mother and sister, but I am quick to push the vain part of me down inside myself, vanity is not an Abnegation trait.

"Rose, Father would like to cut your hair now." Entering the room I felt the Amity glow diminish, another thing my mother and sister had in common was their ability to project a peaceful vibe out around themselves. Rose may not know it, my father also, but both my mother and I knew Rose was destined to transfer to Amity.

Sliding out of her seat at our table Rose made her way upstairs towards our father.

"You look lovely." Turning to me my mother dazzled me with her smile. Outside the house she wouldn't dare to smile so bright, but here, in the safety of our own home she was not afraid to truly be herself.

"Thank you." I say, seating myself at the table.

"Penelope Cline whatever happens today in the aptitude test and tomorrow with the Choosing Ceremony you need to know that your father and I will always love you. We are not fools, we have known that you don't belong here in Abnegation, and though your father hasn't said anything to you I am sure that he would want nothing more than for you to follow your heart, to listen only to yourself for once when making this decision. Do you understand what I am saying?"

Looking up from the table I meet my mother gaze, her eyes are a bright blue that only add to her beauty. "You want me to be selfish." I whisper, afraid that someone else might hear us that I may get into trouble.

My mother swallows hard before continuing, "That is exactly what I want you to do." She reaches out across the table and grabs my hand. "We all love you so very much." She pats my hand before rising from the table to go upstairs. "Penelope could you please prepare lunch."

She doesn't need to tell me to prepare everyone's lunches for the day, but I think she finds comfort in it, knowing that today will be that last day that I ever do.

Making lunch for the day is a mindless task that I take no pleasure in and it is over quickly. Everyone's bags are full of a plain meal in addition to the regular contents. In the side pocket of our bags is a bag full of dried up fruit for us to hand out to the factionless should we encounter any on our way to and from school, as is the Abnegation way.

Handing out food to the factionless, and assisting those who need help has never bothered me, what has bothered me however is that the Abnegation faction is the only faction who ever thought to help those who cannot help themselves.

"Penelope are you ready for school?" Rose asks from my side, breaking me out of my hateful thoughts.

"Yes, Rose I am." Taking her hand we step out of the door and onto the gravel pathway.

Across the way I see we are right on time, our neighbors Beatrice and Caleb are also exiting their home. Without thinking I remove my hand from Rose's and straighten my dress. I check my watch before grabbing Rose's hand again and going to meet Beatrice and Caleb halfway.

"Good morning Prior's." I smile.

"Good morning Cline's." Caleb responds before stretching his hand out towards Rose.

Quick as a jack rabbit Rose rushed forward to hold Caleb's hand and they start the walk off toward the bus ahead of Beatrice and I.

"I know were not supposed to say anything, and I know you don't know if Caleb is going to leave or not, but if you could ask him, if you could…" I stumble over my words for a moment. "If you could just ask him too look out for Rose or if you could look out for Rose if you decide…" I pause looking up to Beatrice hopeful that she will save me from further embarrassment.

"Yes Penelope, of course. I will pass your message along." Beatrice smiles and I have never been more grateful to have befriended her.

Beatrice is the only person I have out rightly told I would be leaving, and even though it is against the rules she has still continued to support me.

"Have you decided which faction?" She whispers.

We leave early for the bus every morning, but still there is no such thing as being too careful when it comes to breaking the rules.

"Yes." Is my only response. I want so badly to let her know which faction I plan on transferring to but for some reason saying it out loud would make today all the more real. "Have you?" I ask.

I had never been sure of whether or not Beatrice really belonged in Abnegation, we were both so similar in that aspect. Being selfless didn't come naturally but we could still make do, we, or at least I wasn't totally averse to helping others.

Beatrice looked around quickly before grabbing my wrist and pulling me closer to her so she could whisper in my ear: "I'm going to leave, I think." The hesitation in her voice struck a chord with me.

Like me Beatrice was probably struggling with having to leave her family, with the possibility that she may never see them ever again. I pat her forearm before pulling away from her, around the corner will be the bus, and without a doubt there will be people, and so we must stop discussing this forbidden topic.

Caleb and Rose have stopped walking and are standing right in front of us. "Don't worry Rosie" Caleb says pulling my sister close to him in the crowd of people. "You can sit next to me." He smiles down to my sister and she beams back up at him and for a moment I am happy because I'm sure Caleb will stay in Abnegation and my sister will be sad that I have left but Caleb will be with her so she will be alright.

When we get on the bus I seat myself next to Beatrice giving her the window seat. At the next stop Caleb gives his seat up to a Candor man and I can't help but smile as Rose moves to stand next to Caleb, also giving her seat up.

Getting off the bus Beatrice stumbles over the Candor man and grabs my arm before moving to exit. Once we've all gotten off the bus we must part ways from Rose.

"Goodbye Rosie." Caleb pats her on the head and Beatrice pulls my sister into a quick hug before I kiss her on the top of the head and wish her a good day at school.

"Aptitude tests today." Beatrice chirps next to me, she is standing in the middle with Caleb and I at her sides. For a moment I am envious of their relationship, if Rose was older I am sure we also would be capable of the silent communication that I often watch between the Prior siblings. Beatrice has asked her brother is he is worried and I can tell he is not because he clearly knows where he belongs in this world.

"Are you?" Caleb turns asking her.

I look at him for a moment and he meets my eyes and we both know that she is worried and that she has been for a while but we don't say a thing.

"Not really." She smiles.

"Well... have a good day." He smiles before turning to leave us to go to his Advanced Mathematics class, Beatrice and I have Faction History together.

The halls are overflowing with a mix of factions, today is more hectic than usual. The last day off classes, nobody, not even the Erudite children it seems are intent on learning today, too excited to be done with school and too nervous to really think about the aptitude test that will take place after lunch today.

"Out of the way, Stiff." An Erudite boy pushes past us knocking Beatrice to the ground.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" I shout back and for a moment everyone turns to me. It is completely out of character for an Abnegation to raise their voice. As quickly as the moment has happened it is abruptly over and I am pulling Beatrice back onto her feet.

"Penelope." She chastises me.

"I know." I whisper into her ear before she pulls me up in front of a window so that we can watch the Dauntless arrive. "I am sorry Beatrice, it was wrong of me to raise my voice at that boy." My words are hollow and my gaze does not even meet hers because I am too busy watching the Dauntless boys and girls fling themselves off of a moving train.

Beatrice looks on with me for a moment before pulling me away and in the direction of our Faction History class.

I turn back for a moment as she drags me away and I am filled with happiness. By this time tomorrow I will be on that train, going where I don't know, but I'll be with the faction I truly belong in, and that us all that matters.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Please feel free to let me know what you think! This is going to be a slow burn Eric/OC. EMPHASIS ON THE SLOW. Constructive criticism is golden, so let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter Two

The Second Day of Every Third Month – Chapter Two

At lunch I sit with Beatrice, Caleb, and Susan Black who is another of our neighbors. Lunch for Abnegation students is about as boring as everything else the Abnegation do. We sit quietly and eat with our heads bowed, if we do speak it is in a whisper so we do not disturb those around us, because that would be selfish.

Around us the Amity sit on the floor eating their food and loudly singing. I can almost picture Rose sitting amongst them playing a banjo, if only she knew how. Despite the amount of noise the Amity make they do not bother me because I know it is all in good spirits.

The table behind where the Amity reside on the floor is full of loud, rowdy souls all dressed in black and white. The Candor group is full of prideful, people who see the world in black and white. Good and evil. There is only two sides of the coin and one is always wrong. Though I do not agree with the Candor I can see why they are in charge of the judicial system here. Candor know what is right and what is wrong and they would never think to blur that line.

The Erudite are not loud at their table, in all actuality sitting in the cafeteria at school is probably the only time the Abnegation and the Erudite show similarities. They sit quietly reading their books and working on whatever last minute assignments their parents may have forced them to do. Some of the Erudite are so enraptured by the book in front of them that they don't even touch their food, and I know that when lunch is over they will rise from their tables and throw it away, and that makes me angry.

Beside them is my favorite table. The Dauntless are so unlike any other table in the cafeteria. They all sit crammed together at one table sharing their food with each other, patting their partners on the back and telling stories. The Dauntless table is full of laughter and warmth, and it screams brotherhood. There is not a person at that table that would not stand up for another.

As I look around me I see my fellow Abnegation and I know I would stand up for my friends, for Beatrice and Caleb, maybe even for Susan, but I am doubtful they would stand up for me when the entirety of the Abnegation way of thought is not to stand up for yourself and your friends and family, but to stand for those whom you do not even know, for those that have been wronged by the system. But if that is such a core belief of my faction then why is it even possible for the factionless to exist.

The lunch bell rings but we stay where we are seated.

The first group of names is called and my heart begins to pound in my chest. Leading up to this point I had been calm all day, I had been ready, but now I begin to second guess myself. It has been maybe twenty minutes when the first group exits and they begin to call names for the second.

"From Abnegation: Penelope Cline and Caleb Prior." My head shoots up and I link eyes with Caleb. Fear flashes in his eyes for a moment and then it's gone and he is getting up from out table. I follow him out of the cafeteria and towards the testing rooms. No one has ever been in the testing rooms before today. Caleb goes into room 5. Before shutting the door I give him a nod of encouragement and go into room 6.

The walls of the testing room are covered in mirrors. Looking around I can see myself from every angle and I am unnerved. I lock eyes with my test administrator and my heart stops beating so hard. She is a thin dauntless woman with black hair streaked with grey. Despite their obvious difference in appearance she reminds me of my mother. She smiles for a quick seconds and I know why. She radiates a calm energy that immediately has put my worries to rest.

"Have a seat," She motions towards the cold looking, hard plastic reclining chair. "My name is Tori."

"It is nice to meet your Tori, my name is-"

"Penelope Cline. I already know who you are." She interrupts.

Anger flashes over my features before I control myself and give her a polite smile.

She laughs before handing me a glass of clear liquid. "Let's see where you really belong Miss Cline."

I hold onto the glass while she places electrodes around my head and on hers as well. When she turns to the computer I see the tattoo on the back of her neck. Before I can stop myself I blurt out: "Did it hurt?"

Tori has obviously been asked this question before because she doesn't even bother to ask what I am talking about. "If you are going where I think you are going the pain of a tattoo is gonna be the least of your worries. Bottoms up, kid." I don't bother to remind her that I am no longer a kid in the eyes of our government.

The liquid tastes like nothing but I still have to shake my head to help it go down my throat, I close my eyes for a moment before I swallow the last of it. When I open my eyes again I am no longer in the testing room but back in the cafeteria. I am the only person in the cafeteria, it is eerily quiet, and looking out the window I see that snow is coming down.

In front of me there are two baskets, one with a block of cheese in it and the other holds a knife.

Behind me a woman's voice says, "Choose."

I don't think twice before grabbing the knife. The baskets disappear and I can hear the sound of something coming at me from behind, I swing around ready to attack whoever it may be, to my surprise it is not a person, but rather a vicious looking dog. The dog growls and I jump in fear before steeling my nerves.

I crouch down a little lower and prepare myself for the pain that will come. I close my eyes one last time, ready for the pain, anticipating it, but it never comes. When I open my eyes again the dog is still before me but he has stopped growling and instead sits before me panting, his tongue hanging out of his mouth with a goofy look on his face, behind him his tail is wagging.

Standing further behind the dog is a young girl, for a moment the thought crosses my mind: what if that girl was Rose? With the thought of my sister in danger in my head I prepare myself. Before the little girl can even finish screaming for the dog in glee I have lunged forward on top of the dog and when I get up the dog is dead and the knife is gone.

Standing up from my spot on the floor the dog is no longer there, and I am on a bus. All of the seats are full so I find a spot to stand. Besides me sits a man, I cannot see his face only the newspaper he holds in his burnt hands.

"Do you know this guy?" He asks, finger tapping the newspaper still in front of his face. His voice is like sandpaper, deep and gritty, like he smokes a thousand cigarettes a day.

The headline of his newspaper reads "Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended!" I look to the mug shot of the man and I instantly know him but I cannot remember where it is I know him from. "Well? Do you?" He asks.

"No, I do not." I lie through my teeth.

He stands up from his seat and pulls the newspaper down to his side. He's wearing sunglasses but I don't need to see his eyes, his face is enough to terrify me. He leans in close to me and his breath smells like cigarettes and the scars that cover his cheeks unnerve me.

"You're lying!" He screams at me.

I say nothing, just try to avoid his stare.

He grabs me around the shoulders and pulls me in close. "If you know him," he whispers, "you could save me."

I think for a moment, before my eyes narrow and I square up my shoulders. "I don't." Before everything goes black I think to myself that even if I could save this man, I wouldn't want to.

"Well," Tori says, pulling the electrodes from our faces, "I always knew I was good at my job."

I give her a questioning look before it hits me. "You, Penelope Cline, are Dauntless."

Before she can stop me I jump forward and wrap my arms around her. "I knew it!" I tell her.

"Yeah, okay, if you want to make it as a Dauntless do not hug me." She pushes me away but I can tell she's happy for me. "Congratulations kid, now get out of here!" She pushes me out the door.

When I get back to the cafeteria Caleb is already sitting in his seat and he looks shaken. I feel bad for him, knowing that he probably didn't want to hurt the dog, but probably ended up having to. _Or maybe he chose the cheese,_ I think to myself. I pat him on the back before moving to sit across the table from him next to Susan. Before Beatrice can even ask us how it went they are calling the next group and both she and Susan rise to go take their tests.

Reaching across the table I grab Caleb's hand. "Everything is going to be alright." I tell him. He nods back before resting his head on the table.

Twenty minutes later Susan has returned and Tori has come out of her testing room. "Are you Caleb?" She asking coming up to our table.

"What's wrong? Is Beatrice alright?" Caleb jumps up from his table.

"She's fine. The test made her a little sick so I sent her home early. You guys are all free to leave if you would like to go home and check on her."

We wait another twenty minutes for Susan's brother Robert to take his test before we leave the school. On our way to the bus Rose finds us and is quick to latch herself onto Caleb. Holding my sisters hand seems to calm him down and once again I am happy that he will be there for her if Beatrice and I will not.

Beatrice is sitting outside of her house waiting for Caleb when we turn down the street to our houses. I say goodbye to Caleb, Susan, and Robert before pulling Rose with me. I wave towards Beatrice, knowing that tomorrow before the Choosing Ceremony she will tell me what happened.

When Rose and I get home we leave our bags by the door before moving into the kitchen to begin to prepare dinner.

"How was your day Rose?" I ask her while I prepare the rice for our meal.

"It was good. We learned about the Choosing Ceremony, and did you know Penelope that if you transfer to a different faction you only get to see your family once a year?" Rose asked innocently.

"Yes I did Rose." _Faction before blood, _I think to myself.

After that mother and father both came home from their work. Father is a member of the Council, he works with Mr. Prior, Beatrice and Caleb's father.

"How was your day?" I ask politely before moving to set the table for dinner.

Once dinner has begun Rose and I no longer speak. We are not permitted to speak up during dinner, only listen. My father speaks of Erudite's growing hostility towards the Abnegation faction. Underneath the table I clench my fists as he goes on about the leaked stories of our leader Marcus Eaton and his alleged abuse towards his son Tobias. Tobias was six years older then I, so I do not remember much about him or the situation. Mother goes on to protest the stories saying the Marcus would never lay a hand on his son that he was the leader of Abnegation, that he was the most selfless man she had ever met.

For a moment I am enraged that my mother could be so dumb as to think that our factions are the only things the define us, that we do not have characteristics that exist outside of the scope of our faction. Then I realize that my parents both don't belong in this faction that my entire family must be some genetic mistake because we all seem to have ended up in a place when we don't belong. Then I think, _maybe we are not the ones who are messed up, maybe it is the system that is wrong._

"Penelope," Father turned to me, "How was your day today?" For a moment I almost ignored the question, perplexed that he would actually speak to me at dinner. "It is okay sweetheart, tonight you are allowed to speak." He smiled to me for a second before looking to my sister and granting her permission to speak as well.

"It was alright I suppose." I mumble quietly before continuing to eat my rice. Thoughts of our flawed society still on my minds.

"You suppose?" My mother laughs.

The sound of her voice removes all apprehension that I may have had about speaking at the dinner table. "Well," I begin. "It was my last day of school." I swallow thickly, willing my stomach to stop churning. My father reaches out and grabs my hand. "Everything will be fine." He says, squeezing my hand.

For a moment I almost believe him, and then I remember that tonight will be the last night that I ever spend in my house, the last dinner I will ever eat with my family. I quickly redirect the conversation over to Rose who is more than willing to talk about her day. I stare down at my plate, willing the tears to recede back into my body, but they do not listen. I am weak.

Next to me my father squeezes my hand again, he seems to understand the pain that I am going through right now.


	3. Chapter Three

The Second Day of Every Third Month – Chapter Three

The morning of the Choosing Ceremony I wake up before the sun. What little sleep I did have was full of nightmares about being rejected by Dauntless and living factionless. After wiping the tears from my eyes I was quick to promise myself that that would be the last time I cried until after initiation was over, no matter how tough things got I would not be made to look weak anymore.

Pushing myself up out of bed I made my way to the small bathroom that was shared between us all. My shower was quick, Abnegation never spent more than a handful of minutes in the shower, and just enough to clean themselves any longer could be seen as vain.

I spend more time getting dressed then I ever have in my life, allowing myself to look over my room one last time in the quiet hours of dawn, trying to memorize everything as it is before my parents clean it all out. Without really thinking I sit down to write Rose a letter, knowing that she is most likely oblivious to my leaving I want her to know that the decision was all my own, that I will see her again, it may not be soon but I'll see her again, I won't lose my family just because I switched factions. _Faction before blood_, I think again. The only thing that seems to be running through my head lately is faction before blood.

I fold the letter up and stick it in the folds of my grey Abnegation sweater. My mother will know the right time to give it to my sister. When I finally leave my room and every detail has been committed to memory I make my way into the kitchen. Father usually makes breakfast but today is not a normal day, today is the day I leave my family and I want them to remember me, remember that while I may have been a horrible Abnegation, I was a good daughter.

Soon enough I can hear people moving around upstairs everyone getting in the shower and getting out, moving to the rooms to get dressed. My father is the first one down.

"Penelope today was not your day to make breakfast." He scolds me.

"I know." I smile, before pushing him down into his chair. "I wanted to, for you and mother."

If it had been any other day he would have chastised me saying that I was being selfish but today was Choosing Day and he understood what I was going through.

"Okay." Was all he said before moving to eat his eggs and toast.

My mother and Rose come down next, they say nothing either because they did not care that I made breakfast or because they did not notice. From the watery look in my mother's eyes she has most likely noticed.

Today is a day where I break tradition continually it would seem, instead of sitting across the table from my sister I pull my chair next to hers. While she eats I stand behind her and put her soft golden hair up into the signature Abnegation bun. My own bun is pulled so tightly on my head I can feel it in the skin around my hairline, the constant ache will hopefully keep me from bursting into tears at any given moment. Once breakfast is done the whole family joins together in the kitchen to wash our dishes, I however find myself escaping to go wait outside.

I check my watch before looking across the way to see the Prior's leave their house right on time. Just like yesterday and so many days before that I go to meet them halfway, only today is different because it is that last time and Rose is not holding my hand and we are not going to school and I won't be coming back.

"Good morning Prior's." I say while bowing my head to them in the formal Abnegation greeting.

"Good morning Penelope." Beatrice's father is the first one to greet me and I am surprised when he pulls me into a quick hug before releasing me and passing me onto his wife who grabs me around the shoulder and kisses my head before wrapping her arms around me. Then I remember that I've never fit into Abnegation and everyone has always known I would transfer, and we never spoke about it but we always knew and this was everyone saying goodbye. I hold onto Mrs. Prior a moment longer before I quickly hug Caleb. It takes him a moment to realize what is going on but soon enough he too is holding me tightly. "Everything is going to be alright." He whispers in my ear before pulling away.

My family is out of our house now and Rose has attached herself to Caleb and my father walks with Mr. Prior while my mother walks with Mrs. Prior. Behind everyone else Beatrice and I walk together.

"Are you alright?" I ask her, referring to yesterday after her test.

"I'm fine Penelope, really." I look to her for assurance and she smiles, for a moment I'm taken back to when Beatrice and I became best friends.

* * *

My ten year old self had been less Abnegation then I am now, prepared to wreak havoc on anyone who upset me despite what faction custom would dictate.

I had been in the halls at school one day and an Erudite boy had bumped into me. "Dumb Stiff." He had mumbled under his breath.

I remember thinking that he had know right to speak to me that way, that I was nothing like any of the other Abnegation children, I would allow myself to be pushed around by some boy who thought it was alright just because he was smarter then I.

"Watch who your calling dumb! You dumb-" Before I could respond with some witty child's comeback the Erudite boy had come back and shoved my face into the ground before leaving on his way.

"Are you alright?" And there she was Beatrice Prior. That was the only time I can ever remember Beatrice going to help someone on pure instinct alone, no one had been there to prompt her, she had just seen me and wanted to help.

* * *

The bus to the Hub, where the Choosing Ceremony takes place, is full of people clad in grey from head to toe. When we get on there is nowhere to sit, so we move silently to the back, where there are a few open poles for us to hold onto.

The Prior's and my parents all share a pole while Caleb, Beatrice, and I all share one. Rose foregoes a spot on our pole knowing that Caleb would never let her fall. Following our parents off the bus Beatrice grabs my hand and I squeeze back, I'm sure she can hear my heart beating in her ears along with her own.

The elevator is crowded and Mr. Prior offered our spot on it to a group of Amity. I would have been mad at him had I not relished in the fact that we would not be crammed into the small metal contraption with twenty other people. Then I remember that the Choosing Ceremony takes place on the twentieth floor. After the first ten flights of stairs Caleb has nobly volunteered to carry Rose, she is all too quick in allowing him to pull her up onto his back. When we finally arrive at our floor Mr. Prior is holding the door open, my parents standing with him and I only have a second to slip the note to Rose into my mother's hand before we move to go stand in line in reverse alphabetical order.

Saying goodbye to Beatrice and Caleb I move to go stand toward the back of the line in between two Amity's who look all too happy to be standing in line, like they were born knowing where they belong and they had nothing to worry about because they weren't transferring, and in all likelihood they probably weren't transferring.

Marcus Eaton is conducting this year's Choosing Ceremony and before he begins I can't help but to think that while he is a bigger man he looks too soft to beat his own son. What my mother said the night before rolls through my head and I can't help but to agree with her, he does look like the picture perfect Abnegation. His face is soft and he stands semi hunched over, playing with his hands, and when he speaks his voice does not boom over us but rather falls on top of us like a warm blanket.

Then he begins: "Welcome. Welcome to the Choosing Ceremony. Welcome to the day we honor the democratic philosophy of our ancestors, which tells us that every man has the right to choose his own way in this world."

_Forced to choose is more like it_, I think to myself_, Choose or die_, basically.

"Our dependents are now eighteen." He continues. "They stand on the precipice of adulthood, and it is now up to them to decide what kind of people they will be. Decades ago our ancestors realized that it is not the political ideology, religious belief, race, or nationalism that is to blame for a warring world."

_Yes, it is. _

"Rather, they determined that it was the fault of human personality-of humankind's inclination towards evil, in whatever form that is. They divided into factions that sought to eradicate those qualities they believed responsible for the worlds disarray. Those who blamed aggression formed Amity."

The two on either side of me looked up and smiled at this.

"Those who blamed ignorance became the Erudite. Those who blamed duplicity created Candor. Those who blamed selfishness made Abnegation. And those who blamed cowardice were the Dauntless."

A smile stretched out across my face and I wiped the sweat from my palms for one last time.

"Working together, these five factions have lived in peace for many tears, each contributing to a different sector of society. Abnegation has fulfilled our need for selfless leaders in government; Candor had provided us with trustworthy and sound leaders in law; Erudite has supplied us with intelligent teachers and researchers; Amity has given us understanding counselors and caretakers; and Dauntless provides us with protection from threats both within and without. But the reach of each faction is not limited to these areas. We give one another far more than can be adequately summarized. In our factions, we find meaning, we find purpose, we find life."

_Faction before blood. _

"Apart from them we would not survive." He pauses for a moment and the air is thick around me, no one is moving, no one is breathing it seems. "Therefore this day marks a happy occasion-the day on which we receive our new initiates, who will work with us toward a better society and a better world." Applause ensue and it takes everything to keep myself from throwing up as he calls off the first name.

"Caleb Prior." Calls Marcus Eaton and my head snaps back up from where I had been staring at the floor.

Caleb stands tall and walks like a man who knows his own fate, and I suppose he does.

The crowd gasps as he slices his palm open, dropping his blood into the Erudite bowl. I would have fallen to the ground had the Amity in front of me not been there.

"Are you alright?" She whispers.

"Yes, sorry I tripped." I choke out. She knows I'm lying but says nothing.

I can't think of anything anymore. Not of Rose or Caleb's parents, I don't even hear where Beatrice decides to transfer and I am too afraid to look. It feels like hours before Marcus Eaton is calling my name and I am being nudges forward by the Amity in front of me. I steel myself, wanting to look strong for my family and my new faction. Marcus hands me a new knife and I can see the questions burning in his eyes: would I also transfer out of his faction?

Not even a second later he gets his answer and I am awoken by the thunderous cheers of my new family. I am pulled into a seat next to Beatrice and if I had not promised myself no more tears this morning I would be crying but instead I hold her hand.

When the ceremony is over dauntless are the first to leave, like a mob we push are selves out of the ceremony room and towards the stairs. I am happy I did not wear a dress, I think as a transfer behind me somewhere mumbles about her dress ripping because we are moving too fast. I look to my right smiling to Beatrice before I pump my arms and push myself deeper into this pack of would be wild animals. As we reach the street my legs ache and my lungs burn but for the first time in a long time I feel free, like I no longer need to hide myself.

The whistle of the train greets us and suddenly we are climbing up onto the platform. Behind me I reach for Beatrice's hand pulling her up.

"We are going to get through this together." I stare her in the eyes. "You were my family before and you are still my family now, so we are getting through this."

A new determination aligns itself in Beatrice's eyes and she is sprinting ahead of me on the tracks. I follow her jumping onto the train before flinging myself down onto the ground.

"Are you alright?" A Candor girl asks Beatrice. Beatrice nods before the Candor girl goes on to introduce herself as Christina.

"I'm Beatrice, and this" She motions towards me where I sit on the floor by her other side. "Is Penelope." We all shake hands before settling in for the ride.

Not even twenty minutes later everyone is standing again, a transfer from Candor has just announced that everyone is jumping off the train. For a moment I am afraid before realizing that this is why I am here, jumping of the train doesn't scare me, it excites me.

I beam towards Beatrice before backing myself up against the wall. "I'll meet you on the roof!" I shout back to her before flinging myself out of the train car.

Out of instinct I find myself rolling in midair, softening my landing. Behind me is Christina and Beatrice, we've made it.

* * *

**So here is chapter three, very exciting stuff. Don't worry pretty soon we will be moving onto stage one of initiation and I will be taking some liberties there. Just hold on for one more chapter and the fun will really begin. Please, don't forget to review/favorite/follow and tell me what you think!**


	4. Chapter Four

The Second Day of Every Third Month – Chapter Four

Before we join the group of initiates on the roof Beatrice tells me that already three people haven't made it. _I need to start paying more attention to what is going on around me._ I swallow the lump in my throat before reminding her that were in this together.

"Listen up! My name is Max! I am one of the leaders of your new faction!" Max is older than most of the Dauntless I've ever seen. His dark skin and grey hair made him stand out against the background of the setting sun. "Several stories below us is the members' entrance to our compound. If you can't muster the will to jump off, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first."

"You want us to jump off a ledge?" asks an Erudite girl.

I zone Max out and think about the best way to go about this. Beatrice and I are the only Abnegation in the initiates group, we need to start setting ourselves apart from everyone else, and we need to make ourselves noticed. If we are jumping off this building then we need to make sure that we are remembered.

"Who knows?" Max raises his eyebrow at us accompanied by a dark looking smirk.

I've missed whatever they were discussing.

Next to me Beatrice begins to move forward and the crowd parts to let her by. She's setting herself apart, she's being brave. She takes off her sweater and balls it up, throwing it in the chest of a Candor boy named Peter. Maybe she really does belong here, I feel bad for ever doubting her decision in the hour before.

After Beatrice jumps Christina is quick to follow screaming in glee the entire way down.

With a steady flow of initiates jumping off the building I decide that I'll jump last. Remembering my days at school when we would present projects and I would either go first or last because if you go first you get some leeway, and if you go last you already know how everyone else has done. Strategy will hopefully get me through this initiation.

The third to last jumper is a Dauntless born initiate, leaving just a mean looking Candor girl, I and whom I can only assume to be our five leaders. Tori stands amongst them and I feel ashamed for having hugged her, I had embarrassed myself before initiation had even started, silently I hope that she doesn't say anything to anyone, it could tarnish my reputation and my chances.

"Any day now initiates." This comes from the youngest looking leader. He is tall, with a thick build that is highlighted by the sleeveless vest he wears. The blonde hair on top of his head is slicked back, keeping the attention on his face. He has a piercing above his eye, and two contraptions in his ears that look like they are stretching his lobes out. His neck and forearms are covered in tattoos that only add to the dark aura he is casting out towards the other initiate and I.

It seems to work because the Candor girl has just pulled herself up onto the ledge and clumsily fallen into the hole in the ground.

_Set yourself apart,_ I think to myself.

Like Beatrice before me I take off my sweater, walking up to the ledge an idea occurs to me, one that would probably sound horribly stupid, and dangerous to anyone that wasn't Dauntless, but that didn't matter anymore, because were all Dauntless now.

Backing up from the ledge about fifteen feet or so I'm interrupted by the blonde leaser again.

"I knew she wouldn't jump, stupid Stiff." He sneers.

Suddenly I'm running forward expelling all the air from my lungs and for a moment it feels like I am flying, arms outstretched. Then I start falling and it takes everything in me to hold the scream in my throat and keep myself from flapping my arms and legs like a mad woman.

As soon as it begins it has ended and I find myself bouncing lightly up and down in a net. Hands pull the net down and I roll and into the arms of a man who doesn't seem particularly happy to see me.

"Thank you." I mumble to the man before me who seems to scream 'DAUNTLESS' in a way so different from that of the blonde leader on the roof, this man is quiet, calm, lethal looking. "What's your name?" he asks.

"Penelope."

"Last jumper-Penelope!" He shouts and suddenly rowdy applause erupt and his hands on my back are pushing me forward. "Welcome to Dauntless."

After a moment he leaves me and I find myself alone, Beatrice nowhere to be found. Christina is up ahead though.

"Christina have you seen Bea-" she cuts me off.

"It's just Tris now," She laughs and pulls me forward. In front of us is Beatrice, talking to an Erudite boy, or rather Tris is talking to an Erudite boy.

"Tris." I whisper pulling her back towards me. Christina jumps up to take her place talking to the boy.

"My old one just wasn't Dauntless enough, you know?" She whispers back.

"I guess." I laugh. The man from early begins to lead us down a narrow hallway accompanied by a young brown haired woman.

"This is where we divide," the woman, Lauren, says. "Dauntless-born initiates are with me. I assume you don't need a tour of the place." She smiles, and suddenly our group of twenty dwindles down to ten.

The man from the net addresses us next. "Most of the time I work in the control room, but for the next couple weeks, I am your instructor, and my name is Four."

"Four? Like the number?" Christina asks and I feel like dying from second hand embarrassment.

"Yes, is there a problem?" He growls back.

Christina shakes her head silently and seems to shrink into herself a little. We all do, Four has a way of making us all feel insignificant at the same time it would seem.

"Good. We're about to go into the Pit, which you will someday learn to love. It-"

Christina snickers and before she can say anything I've jammed by elbow firmly into her ribs, she starts coughing.

Four gives me a look of gratitude before continuing, "The Pit is the center of Dauntless life." he says before pushing open to heavy looking double doors.

We are on the bottom floor of the Pit and looking up is marvelous, directly about us about ten stories up is a roof made of glass. The sun has already set so the only light coming in is moonlight but without a doubt it is probably a beautiful sight early in the morning and evening when the rising and setting sun gets to cast the room in a whole rainbow of colors. Uneven, white rock walls rise up from the ground separating stores from each other. Blue lanterns light the walkway, as it continues to get darker outside they brighten before my eyes.

"If you follow me, I'll show you the chasm." Four says, ushering us along.

The chasm is beautiful, just like the Pit, but in an entirely different way. The chasm is a break in the earth, with a river flowing below our feet, the roar of the water is so loud I cannot hear myself think.

Four shouts so that we can hear him, "The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy! A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You've been warned." Suddenly a chill shoots up my spine and I don't want to be here anymore standing on this rickety bridge made of rusted metal.

"This is incredible," Say Christina as we all shuffle off the bridge and away from the chasm.

"Incredible is the word," Tris nods along.

On the other side of the Pit Four leads us to the dining hall and sets us free so that we can fill our stomachs. When we enter the Dauntless inside quite themselves for a moment before they applaud, stomping their feet and banging their hands on the table.

Christina, Tris and I all share a smile before moving to sit down at a mostly empty table. Tris sits next to Four with Christina on her other side, I sit opposite all of them next to two boys names Will and Al.

Before us are platters with circular pieces of meat wedged between slices of bread. I place one on my plate looking to Tris who also shares the same look of disgust that is no doubt covering my face.

"It's beef," Four says, nudging a bowl of red sauce in between us "Put this on it."

"You guys have never had a hamburger before?" Christina questions us.

I shake my head while Tris chimes in, "Is that what it's called?"

"If it is beef then why is it call a ham-burger?" I ask no one in particular, throwing emphasis towards the name of the offending meat dish. One of the Erudite transfers looks prepared to answer my question before Four starts talking.

"Stiffs eat plain food," He says to Christina.

"Why?" She asks.

Tris responds telling her that extravagance is considered self-indulgent and unnecessary. But looking to the greasy thing before me I see zero extravagance.

"No wonder you left." Christina smirks.

"Yeah," Tris rolls her eyes. "It was just because of the food."

"You know," I say, "Now that I think of it, I don't like the color gray, not at all." Our table begins to laugh before the entirety of the room falls silent.

The young leader from before has just entered, his cold gaze sweeping across the room. His gaze settles at our table and he slowly ambles towards us.

"Who is that?" Christina hisses.

"That," Four sneers. "Is Eric, he's a Dauntless leader."

"Seriously? But he's so young." Christina questions again.

"Age doesn't matter here." Looking around I know that is a lie because the oldest person I have seen is Max and I can't help but to wonder where all the senior citizens have gone. Are they excluded from the younger crowd, allowed to reside in the peace and quiet of their own homes? I doubt it.

Eric seats himself directly across from Four, right next to me and I feel my back stiffen, I stop breathing for a moment.

"Well," he looks to Four, "Aren't you going to introduce me?"

"This is Tris," He gestures to my best friend, "and Christina." Next he waves his hand over in my direction.

"I already know this one." Eric interrupts. The blood in my body seems to freeze in that very moment and I'm sure my normally pale skin is now similar looking to the white sheet that covered my bed in my old home.

"Penelope Cline, Tori has told us all about you." He snickers for a moment before turning to Four and asking him what he's been up to. I swallow thickly before looking up to Tris and Christina whose eyes are both wide as saucers.

"Nothing really," Four responds with the lift of a shoulder.

"Max tells me that he keeps trying to meet with you, and you don't show up, he requested that I find out what's going on." Eric states nonchalantly, poking at his hamburger with one finger, his knuckles are all covered in scabs and scars.

"Tell him that I am satisfied with the position I currently hold." Four grumbles before pulling the hamburger into his mouth.

"Four," Eric leans forward and I strain myself to hear while still looking like I am interested in Tris and Christina's conversation. "You and I both know that when that man offers you a job you don't turn it down. Word is that he might be getting ready to step down in a year or so. If you and I," He pauses for a moment looking in my direction. Quickly I throw out some stupid comment that flows into the other conversation going on around me. "If were both leaders, along with Tori we could change things. Make things the way they should be. I can't do it alone." He hisses before rising from our table.

"Are you two… friends?" Tris asks. I don't know if she has just heard the same conversation as me.

"We were in the same initiation class," he says. "He transferred from Erudite."

Eric looks nothing like a transfer, he looks as if he was born and raised Dauntless. Eric and Four are only a few years older than us, I wonder what Tris and I will look like a few years from now, and will we still be friends?

"Were you a transfer too?" Tris asks, and once again the second hand embarrassment is killer.

"I thought I would only have trouble with the Candor asking too many questions," He says coldly, "Now I've got Stiffs too?"

I shoot him a glare, wishing I could light him on fire where he sits. Were finally out of Abnegation and still all we are is Stiffs.

"It must be because you're so approachable," Tris says flatly, "Like a bed of nails."

I don't even try to stop myself from laughing. But Four doesn't notice because he and Tris are staring each other down in some form of pissing contest.

"Careful, Tris." Is all he says before leaving us.

"I'm developing a theory." Christina chimes in.

"And it is?"

"That you have a death wish." She says laughing at Tris before returning to her food.

"Me?" Tris asks before turning on me, "What about Penelope?"

"Yeah, how is it that Eric already knows who you are? And who's Tori?" Will asks next to me.

"Well I don't know how he knows me, Tori must have said something, she's the woman that gave me my aptitude test, I sort of freaked on her when she told me I scored Dauntless."

When we finish eating Eric lurks out of whatever crevice he was hiding in and leads us down a narrow hallway. I don't know where Four has gone off to but having Eric here by himself with all of us unnerves me.

We walk in silence down the narrow hallways, we were not told we couldn't talk, but Eric's presence is so frightening none of us dare to open our mouths, not even the Candor transfers.

Eric stops in front of a large wooden door and crosses his arms over his chest. His biceps and forearms seem to bulge out, the vest he wears still continues to highlight the muscles in his upper body. We gather around him and by some mystery of fate I find myself standing next to him with Tris and Christina on my right side. If I had known better I might have thought they were using me as a shield from this great big man.

"For those of you who don't know, my name is Eric," His voice booms out onto us and if I hadn't been prepared for it I might have stumbled back. "I am one of the five leaders of Dauntless. We take the initiation process very seriously here, so I volunteered to oversee most of your training."

Bile rises up in my throat but I'm quick to push it down and look back up to him.

"Some ground rules," he says. "You have to be in the training room every morning by eight o'clock. Training takes place every day from eight to six, with a break in between for lunch. You are free to do whatever you like after six. You will also get some time off between each stage of initiation. You are only permitted to leave the compound when accompanied by a Dauntless," Eric smiles. The use of the word compound reminds me of the prisons we read about in our prewar history classes. "Behind this door is the room where you will be sleeping for the next few weeks. You will notice that there are twelve beds and ten of you. We anticipated a higher proportion of you would make it this far.

"But we started with thirteen?" Christina questions.

"There is always at least one transfer who doesn't make it to the compound." Eric rubs the tattoos that cover his neck before moving on. "Anyway in the first stage of initiation, we keep transfers and Dauntless-born initiates separate, but that doesn't mean you are evaluated separately. At the end of initiation, your rankings will be determined in comparison with the Dauntless-born. And they are better then you are already. So I expect-"

"Rankings?" A small Erudite girl asks "Why are we ranked?"

Eric smiles, and the lighting throws shadow over his feature that remind me of the monsters Rose believes sometimes reside in her closet. His smile is dark and twisted, like he wants to scare us, there is no doubt in my mind that is exactly what he's trying to do.

"Your rankings serves two purposes, the first is that it determines the order in which you will select a job after initiation. There are only a few desirable positions available." This means that I cannot afford to mess up, I don't want to end up with some dead end job. "The second purpose is that only the top ten initiates are made members." In that moment I am thankful for the darkness of the hallway because no one can seem me latch onto Tris' hand in the dark.

I shoot her a worried look before Christina pipes up, "What?"

"There are ten Dauntless born and ten of you, four initiates will be cut at the end of stage one. The remainder will be cut after the final test."

Out of the corner of my eye I see Tris shoot me a worried look before her gaze moves back to Eric, she must also be thinking of our odds. Two Abnegation girls, we just might be the weakest here, Tris is definitely smallest, I am at least six inches taller than her, but height means nothing if I have no muscle to back it up.

This new information does nothing more than steel me in my resolve to do well. I will get through initiation and so will Tris, no matter what.

"But that's… not fair!" Molly, the Candor girl who had jumped before me says. "If we had known-"

"Are you saying that if you had known this before the choosing ceremony, you wouldn't have chosen Dauntless?" Eric snaps and my blood runs cold, his anger is terrifying. "Because if that's the case, you should get out now. If you are really one of us, it won't matter to you that you might fail. And if it does, you are a coward." Eric pushes the door to the dormitory open and for a moment when no one else is looking I see the hurt that passes through his eyes and I'm reminded of his conversation with Four at dinner early, this must be something new, this must be what he wants to change.

He steels his self before looking in my direction, our eyes connect and I feel sorry for a moment, "You chose us," He says. "Now we get to choose you."

The moment is over and now all I am is angry and determined.

* * *

**I just want to say thank you to all of you who have reviewed/followed/favorite(d) this story. It means the world to me. Also I forgot to throw a disclaimer up earlier... but just encase anyone forgot I own nothing. Don't forget review/follow/favorite! Let me know what you think/any questions you have/or errors I've made, I am only human. Much love**


	5. Chapter Five

The Second Day of Every Third Month – Chapter Five

The first night in Dauntless is easily the worst night of my life. Nobody is asleep but we all lay in our beds silently listening to Al's sobs. Tris is in the bed next to me, and in the bed next to her is Al. It isn't quite pitch black and so I can see her roll over onto her side before pulling her pillow up over her head.

None of us are happy, after Eric told us that we wouldn't all be making it nobody felt like doing anything. Quietly we all went about the dormitory changing our clothes and getting ready for bad.

Despite the overwhelming sadness that had flooded our room I try to keep my spirits up the best I can. _I'm finally where I belong_, I tell myself, _and nothing is going to stop me from succeeding here_.

I too roll over onto my side pulling the pillow up over my ears.

* * *

By the grace of whatever god is out there I seem to be the first one to wake up thus allowing me to take a shower undisturbed in our horrible excuse of a communal bathroom. The showers are divided by brick walls that come up to the height of my shoulders and immediately I feel bad for any girl that might be taller than me.

Picking a spot along the back where nobody can walk up behind me I shower as quickly as possible before pulling on my clothes for the day. The clothes they provide the initiates with are almost as boring as the clothes I wore in Abnegation except they are black, which somehow makes them seem a million times better.

Clad in black sweats, tank top, and the supplied boots I shake Tris awake, letting her know now would be a good time to shower and that I'll meet her in the cafeteria.

The Pit is quiet this early in the morning, the few people that are up slowly make their way into the cafeteria. In the morning the Pit is all the more beautiful, the natural lighting from the rising sun illuminates the rock walls. Everything seems to glow with a warmth.

Looking to my watch I notice that it is only seven, and I am early. None of the other initiates will be getting up for another twenty or thirty minutes and I'm grateful, now is a great time for me to immerse myself in this new and foreign world.

The Dauntless are polar opposites of the Abnegation. They live and serve themselves, nobody goes out of their way to hold open doors, no one insists upon selfless acts nearly every moment of their waking lives, they are selfish, and it seems so am I.

The usual noise the cafeteria emits has been reduced to a dull roar this morning. People are all spread out at different tables nursing mugs of steaming beverage. I follow the line to a wall where drinks are readily available and after a quick look I find the hot kettle and poor myself a cup before grabbing a tea bag. Tea was one of the only luxuries we did have in Abnegation, but still it was always horrible tasting. On each table there was an overabundance of muffins it seemed, every flavor imaginable, and some I never would have thought of.

The table we sat at last night was empty and so that is where I seat myself, and that is where Tris joins me minutes later.

"It's so different here in the morning." She whispered in awe.

"I like it." I tell her, sipping my tea.

"So do I." She agrees before going off to get her own drink. When she returns she too has a steaming cup of tea in hand.

"Are you ready for today Tris? We need to do well, especially if they're making cuts." I remind her.

"Penelope," Tris looks up at me from her mug, "Are you scared?" she asks.

"Yes." I'm not embarrassed by my own admission, I trust Tris and I'm sure she trusts me too. Besides, being scared only makes me want to try harder, to do better.

"I'm ready," She answers my question.

"Morning guys!" Christina comes running up to us, grabbing a muffin. "You ready?" She asks.

Checking my watch it's fifteen till, "Yeah, let's move out." Grabbing my half eaten muffin and shoving it into my mouth.

"The first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight." Four says while shoving guns into our arms. They are big and heavy, I feel awkward holding one in my arms. "Thankfully, if you are here," He continues "you already know how to get on and off a moving train, so I don't need to teach you that." I snicker under my breath while looking to Tris who doesn't seem as awake as I am.

"Initiation is divided into three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time." It only eight in the morning and already Four is hitting us with the hard stuff.

I hold onto my gun a little tighter, pulling it diagonally against my chest so that the barrel is aimed towards the ground. "We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear, therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first stage is primarily physical; the second, primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental."

"But what…" Peter yawns through his hand and I can feel a stupid Candor question working its way out of him. "What does firing a gun have to do with… bravery?"

Something about Four I've noticed in the past twenty-four hours is that he never raises his voice. He gets angry a lot at the stupid questions we ask, understandably, but he never raises his voice. Watching his jaw tick makes me think that he's holding back, that he wants to yell at Peter but for some reason he doesn't.

"Wake up," He snaps, pressing the barrel of his gun into Peter's forehead, in a second he has clicked a bullet into place and Peter's eyes have gone wide. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it."

"And to answer your question… you are far less likely to soil your pants and cry for your mother if you're prepared to defend yourself." The angry look on Peters face coupled with Four's excellent word choice has me biting down hard on my lower lip so I won't burst out in fits of laughter. "This is also information you may need later in stage one. So, watch me."

Four stood facing his target straight on, his shoulders squared up and his feet shoulder width apart. His left foot stood about six inches ahead of his right foot. The butt end of his gun was pushed up tightly into his chest. He didn't say anything to us just stood stock still like this for a minute before he began to shoot at the target. The first time he pulled the trigger I jumped, after that I was prepared for the loud bang.

When Four stops he motions for us all to go line up with our targets and begin. I do my best to recall everything he did, to position my feet the same as him, to pull the gun into my chest, but nothing prepares me for the power of the recoil. The butt of the gun slams backwards into my chest and instantly I want to drop the offending weapon, I just know that later tonight when I change before bed there will be a big bruise.

My first shot misses the target completely and it seems everyone else did too. Now that I know what to suspect I pull myself back together and line up the target in my sights_, I'm going to be the first to hit the target_, I think to myself.

I pull the trigger slowly, exhaling at the same time, my shoulder burns when the gun recoils but I'm prepared and hold my ground. The loud bang that comes with pulling the trigger is followed by the soft "thunk" of the bullet lodging itself into the target.

"You're too stiff, Stiff." Eric.

As quick as he's there he's gone, moving on to the Erudite boy next to me who is struggling to stay standing after each shot, his thin, noodle like arms are quivering.

I don't waste my time listening to Eric bullying the boy next to me, instead I turn back to my target and fire my gun, putting round after round in the chest and head of my target.

When we break for lunch my arms are pulsing from all the abuse they have taken from the gun today. Christina invites Al to sit with us and he agrees, on our way to the dining hall I ask Tris how she did.

"It took me a while to hit the target, but towards the end I was doing better. But you," She says grabbing my arm before releasing it quickly when I wince in pain. "You were amazing, how'd you do so well so quickly?"

"I just mimicked Four." I tell her before Christina turns to us.

"Tris, Penelope, do you guys remember taking a class with me?" I look to Tris before shrugging my shoulder, she too looks clueless.

"No, Christina, sorry, you must not be that memorable." I laugh.

"Hey! What does that mean?" She screeched while moving to sit down at our table.

"She's just saying that your like every other Candor ever, so…" Tris giggles while pulling a hamburger onto her plate.

I gag looking at her plate, she had pulled three of the offending meat patties onto her plate.

"What?" She asks me curiously.

"You are disgusting? You're actually going to eat those?" I ask disgusted while reaching for a white piece of meat which I have learned to be called chicken, it has a plain flavor and sits better in my stomach then the hamburger does.

"Can I sit here?" Will asks, tapping his fingers on the table.

"What, you don't want to hang out with your Erudite buddies?" says Christina.

"They aren't my buddies," says Will. "Just because we were in the same faction doesn't mean we get along. Plus, Edward and Myra are dating, and I would rather not be a third wheel."

Edward and Myra sit a couple tables down from us, they are so close to each other that when they go to cut into their food they end up bumping each other, which lead them into fits of laughter, and shortly after they begin to kiss and Tris and I both look away, are eyes firmly glued to our plates. Physical affection had never been showcased in Abnegation.

"Do they have to be so public?" Tris hisses under her breath and I nod my head along with her in approval.

"They just kissed." Al frowns. "It's not like they're stripping naked."

"A kiss is not something you do in public."

Al, Will, and Christina all look towards us with knowing smiles on their faces.

"What?" I ask.

"Your Abnegation is showing." She laughs at us.

"Oh," Tris shrugs. "I guess we'll just have to get over it." She looks to be and I nod my head.

When lunch is over we all make our way back to the same room we had been shooting guns in only for Four to lead us into another room. The room is big and empty, the wooden floors creak with every step we take and the lights above us sway back in forth ever so slightly. In the center of the room there is a large, white, padded mat. Hanging along the back wall of the room is a row of ten warn down looking back punching bags.

"As I said this morning, next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threat and challenges – which you will need, if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless. Today we will go over technique, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other, so I recommend that you pay attention." Four shoots us all a glare before continuing, "Those who don't learn fast will get hurt."

Four goes about showing us a couple different punches, demonstrating how they are to be done first on the air and then on a punching bag.

After each demonstration he gives us ten minutes or so to practice on the bag. Punching it seems comes easy to me. Squaring up my body with the bag I find it easy to place blow after blow on my target, after I feel like I've gotten the form down I begin to throw more weight into my punches and the bag begins to sway back and forth with each hit.

The kicks Four shows us are more difficult and he only teaches us the basics, by the time he has really let us loose on the bags to do as we please I can feel the bruises forming on my shins from kicking the bag so hard. The skin on my hands has become red and a couple of my knuckles are even bleeding.

Four wanders through the crowd of initiates passing by us back and forth, he stops me briefly to correct my breathing and widen my stance. I make a mental note to remember that tomorrow before throwing myself back into the bag with a flurry of combination punches that leave trickles of blood on the bag.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Four correcting Tris with his hangs on her stomach, I see her freeze for a second before she goes back to practice, and so do I.

When we are dismissed Christina comes up behind us on our way to the dining hall. "I'm surprised he didn't break you in half," She says wrinkling her nose. "He scares the hell out of me. It's that quite voice of his."

"Same!" I agree.

"Yeah. He's… definitely intimidating." Tris chimes in half-heartedly.

When we reach the Pit Al come up to us and announces: "I want a tattoo."

As Christina and Al discus his possible tattoo I take another moment to revel in the beauty of the Pit. The setting sun has cast a light orange/pink glow over everything. The white walls are now glowing with an ethereal like light that seems to be calling people out of their quarters and into the heart of the Dauntless compound.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a hand on my wrist dragging me in the direction of the shops.

"Where are we going?" I shout to be heard over all of the people surrounding us.

"You and Tris are getting new clothes!" Christina shouts back and I don't even bother to argue with her. In Abnegation we never got to pick out our own clothes, everything was given to us, and we all wore the same thing.

A little while later Tris is standing in front of us clad in a nice form fitting dress that accentuate her thin figure. Behind Tris Christina is humming along the music that plays in the background while launching piles of fabric at me.

"Put that on!" She orders me, giving me no room for argument.

In the dressing room I pull of my workout clothes and ball them up. The first thing I pull on is a pair of black jeans that are so tight they seem to cling to me like a second skin, the waist of the jeans ends just below my bellybutton. The top Christina has supplied me with is ridiculously small and leaves my midriff exposed for all of Dauntless to see, not that they would care. Thankfully though, for my sake Christina also threw a leather jacket at me, after pulling that on and zipping it up so you cannot see my stomach I pull my boots back on.

"Penelope!" Christina yells when I step out of the fitting room?

"What?" I question, turning around in a circle to make sure I put on everything that she had given me.

Before I can complete my third turn Christina barrels up to me and rips the zipper down on my jacket.

"Christina what are you doing!"

"Your abnegation is showing!" She laughs again. "Besides, with abs like yours your lucky I even gave you a shirt to wear." My cheeks redden and she just continues to laugh.

"What are you talking about?" I question, running my hand along my stomach.

"You may be thin like Tris, Penelope, but you are ripped!" Christina cackles again before pulling over to what I can only guess is the make-up section.

"She's right you know? I don't know when you had time to put muscle on in Abnegation, but you are ripped!" Tris says.

"Okay," Christina says, bumping her thumb against her lip in thought, "So, eyeliner for Tris, and I'm thinking red lipstick for you Penelope." Christina just laughs at the looks of horror that cover our faces.

When she's done Tris and I stand dumb founded in the mirror, we may not have gotten to see our reflection very often in Abnegation, but I know what I look like, and the person in my reflection looks nothing like me.

The tight, all black outfit accentuated the natural curves of my body while also showcasing the new layer of muscle that was building up too. Looking in the mirror I could finally see what Christina and Tris were talking about, my stomach muscles were taunt and hard, making them easy to see. The thing that alarmed me the most wasn't my muscles though. My face was being framed by my dark brown, almost black hair that I had inherited from my father, my naturally tan skin seemed to glow in contrast to the deep red of the lipstick that Christina had put on me. For the first time in my life I felt like I was more than just plain looking.

"You look… fierce." Tris said, turning to me.

"I feel it!" I said laughing at myself. "You look amazing Tris!"

"So, you guys like it?" Christina asks.

"Christina you are amazing!" I tell her.

"Yeah I know, now come on let's pay for this stuff and go get some tattoos!" She laughed before running off towards the register.

* * *

When we get to the tattoo place Al and Will are already inside staring at the pictures that line the walls. Once were inside we all break off to see if there's anything we like.

I'm looking at a poster covered in guns when an artist approaches me.

"Hey girl, what can I do for you today?" The artist is older man, not quite as old as Max but still one of the oldest Dauntless I've seen. His arms are covered in a colorful array of tattoos, and I can even see some peeking out of his collar.

"I think I wanna get a tattoo!" I tell him.

"No shit!" He laughs, "My name is Riley, do you know what you want? Or you feeling whimsical today?" He asks, wiggling his fingers in the air.

"No, no, I think I know what I want." I tell him, pointing to the small framed picture on the wall with a description underneath that reads '_.308 Winchester'_

"Oh yeah? Got a thing for guns do you?" Riley asks, wiggling his eyebrows this time, the piercings along his brow move too, the light reflecting off of them twinkling.

"We shot guns today, and well… I liked it, a lot. And I'm good at it, so I figure why not." I say nervously ringing my hands, hoping he won't think I'm stupid.

"I dig it girl! If we hurry up I can work you in before my next appointment comes in an hour." He tells me while dragging me towards the back of the shop and behind a black curtain.

"So what's your name, sweetheart?" He asks while cleaning his equipment.

"Penelope Cline, I'm an Abnegation transfer." I say, sitting in the chair.

"Really?" He asks, "Hmm, I never would a guessed it, you sure don't look like no stiff to me."

I growl and his eyebrows shoot up onto his forehead, his piercings twinkling with the movement again.

"Down sparky!" He laughs nervously, "Everyone transfers because they don't belong where they started. Hell, I'm and Amity transfer myself so I can't really talk now can I?" He asks.

"No, you can't, you dumb hippy!" I laugh.

"Hey girl, watch it!" He snickers. "So, Penelope, where do you want it?" He asks, raising his eyebrows.

I thrust my right hand out into his face, all of my finger curled in towards my palm except for my pointer finger, my trigger finger.

"I like it!" He says while pulling black gloves onto his hands. "Now, this might hurt quite a bit because your bones are so close to the surface in your fingers, but you're Dauntless, so you'll be fine." He smiles before turning the machine on.

Forty-five minutes later Riley is wiping my finger down and covering it in a small piece of plastic wrap. "Keep it covered for tonight okay, wash it at least twice a day, if you need to, if you're fighting tomorrow maybe wrap it then to, just to help prevent infection. If anything starts to look funky you come straight to me alright?" As Riley asks me this the curtain dividing his area from the rest of the shop is pulled open and none other than Eric is standing before us.

He says nothing just raises his brow to an impressive height, the piercing above his brow is a matte grey color so it doesn't twinkle in the light like Riley's does.

"Hey man, come on in, sit down, take your shirt off, I'm almost done here with my girl Penelope." Riley doesn't seem to notice the dark glare that passes between Eric and I.

"What was I saying?" Riley mumbles to himself.

"You said if things start to look funky I should come find you." I tell him, trying not to look at Eric whose back is to us, he's pulling his signature vest off, and next he pulls that black undershirt off over his head.

"Right, right, anything funky come find me I'll sort you out. Wash it twice a day ATLEAST, more is always better, can't hurt, and if you're fighting tomorrow…" Riley's eyes move from me to Eric and I just know he's going to ask Eric if were fighting tomorrow. "Is my girl fighting tomorrow, Eric?" Riley asks, slinging his arm over my shoulders which does nothing to comfort me when Eris turns around, facing us now.

'_Ordinary Acts of Bravery' _is outlines in a scrawling cursive across his chest. My breath hitches in my throat and I fake a coughing spasm to divert my eyes.

"Yes." Is all he says before moving to sit down in the chair I had been occupying up until five minutes ago.

"Yeah, so wrap that sucker up tomorrow." Riley finishes motioning to my hand. I nod silently while he escorts me out to the front of the shop.

"Thanks Riley." I tell him while he finishes our transaction, transferring the points to his own account.

"No problem girl, good luck tomorrow!" He calls to me as I leave the shop.

I walk behind Will, Al, Christina, and Tris on our way back to the dormitory and I can't get the image of Eric standing shirtless in front of me out of my head.

* * *

**Hey everyone sorry it took so long for me to update! I feel like I've let everyone down, but classes just started again so I had quite a bit going on there for a second, but no worry I'm back and y'all should be expecting updates once, if not twice a week from now on. As always please, please, please, please review and lemme know what you think or if you have any questions or need clarification. Thanks again to everyone that's reviewed/followed/favortied! Means the world to me. **


	6. Chapter Six

The Second Day of Every Third Month - Chapter Six

"There are ten of you here, which means everyone will be fighting today," Four says, greeting us as we all walk into the room. "On the board is our lineup for the day." He turns his head towards the board and I feel as if my throat is about to close up.

_Tris v Penelope_

"It is tradition for the first jumper and the last jumper to fight first here in Dauntless." Eric says striding into the room.

Holding my hands behind my back, my palms are covered in sweat, I give Tris a worried look.

"This isn't good." Christina whispers from her spot in-between Tris and I.

Tris is my best friend I don't want to fight her, and how well we do in this fight could affect our standings, if I beat her or she beats me it could be a factor in whether or not one of us ends up factionless. I don't want to be the reason my best friend ends up factionless.

"Come on, I don't have all day." Eric calls from the other side of the room. He and Four are huddled together whispering, they're probably placing bets on who will win.

Tris and I walk to the mat together. "For how long…" I swallow a thick lump in my throat, "…Are we supposed to fight?" I ask.

"It ends when one of you is unable to continue," He sneers, his voice is hard but his eyes soften for a second when he sees the looks of shock that cross everyone's faces.

"According to Dauntless rules," Four chimes in, "one of you could also concede."

Eric clears his throat and narrows his eyes at Four before continuing, "According to the old rules," He says. "In the new rules, no one concedes. Now fight hard! You will be scored on this."

Tris stands in the corner opposite of me already in her fighting stance. I bend my knees and square up my shoulders, rising up off the balls of my feet, we begin to circle each other. The room is silent, we've both taken our shoes off for the fight. My palms are sweaty again but this time I can't wipe them off on my pants. Tris steps sideways, her left foot sliding in to meet her right foot before her right foot slides out, this process repeats itself over and over as we continue to circle each other. I bounce around on my toes quickly, jumping back and forth while moving sideways.

_I'm sorry. _I try to tell Tris with my eyes. _Let's just get this over with real quick._

She seems to understand what I'm thinking, sending me a nod while charging towards me at the same exact time. Her first punch is aimed towards my head, I block it with my left arm and before she can retaliate I swing my foot out in a wide arc knocking her feet out from underneath her.

Sitting on her stomach I wail blow after blow onto her face wishing she would just pass out already. Tris fights back, bucking her hips upwards and throwing me off. I step back and give her a moment to get to her feet. Her nose is bleeding and I've busted her lip, her blood is splattered across my knuckles.

"I'm sorry." I whisper to her under my breath as she staggers forward. I bring my fist back before launching it forward towards her right temple. My fist connects and instantly my hand is throbbing. Tris crumples before me and I barely catch her before she hits the ground. My eyes are burning with tears that threaten to spill over.

I close my eyes hard for a second and sink to my knees before pulling Tris into my arms and standing up.

She isn't heavy but I am not to strong either, I falter but Will and Al are quick to run up and help me carry her to the clinic.

* * *

I leave Tris in the clinic they had showed us on our first day here while giving the tour. She had woken up long enough for me to apologize profusely before she promptly fell asleep.

"She'll be alright, come by before dinner and she should be good to go." The nurse tells me.

I thank her before storming off in the direction of the training room.

Will is the first one to see me when I enter. He jogs over to me and slings his arm over my shoulders, "Hey are you alright? How is Tris?" he asks.

"She's fine, she woke up and then fell back to sleep, the nurse said we can go snag her before dinner and she should be up." I tell him.

Four and Eric have noticed my entrance and make their way towards us. "How is she?" Four asks.

"She's fine." I tell him, "Sleeping."

"And you're alright to keep fighting?" Eric asks from my other side. He eyes Will's arm in disgust and I shrug my shoulders, Wills arm falls back to his side.

Four turns back to the mats and Eric follows him, but not before putting his hand on the small of my back and pushing me forward. He raises his eyebrow in silent question. If Eric didn't always look so menacing the sight might actually have been comical.

"I'm fine." I say, rubbing my cheek where Tris had landed one or two good blows before I knocked her out.

Christina is on the mat trying to fight off Molly, but it doesn't seem to be going so well for her. Molly is a few inches taller than me, putting her at about six feet tall, she isn't muscular but she's bigger than the rest of the girls which gives her the advantage when fighting little Christina.

Suddenly Molly charges into Christina and tackles her around the waist. When they're on the ground I can't help but to think that I probably looked as ruthless as Molly does in this very moment, and it makes me angry. I've just beaten up my best friend, beaten her to a bloody pulp and knocked her unconscious.

Christina screams and punches Molly in the ear, successfully knocking Molly off of her. Christina rolls to her side and rises up on her hands and knees, trying to get as much air into her body as possible. Suddenly Molly is standing over Christina sending kick after kick into her rib cage, I move forward to say something, and to do something but Eric's hand around my bicep stops me. I send him a seething glare and he matches mine with his own.

"Stop!" Christina screams, Molly pulls her foot back to kick again but Christina has flattened herself against the mat. "I'm done. I'm done." She wheezes painfully in-between each breath.

Eric releases my arm and walks towards the mat, offering his hand to Christina. She looks at his hand before a moment before reaching out and grabbing it. Roughly, he pulls her up off the floor. "Follow me," He tells us, pulling Christina along behind him. And when I'm the last one in the room I look back to see none other than Dauntless leader Max standing against the furthest wall, almost completely hidden in shadow. What was he doing here? Had Eric seen him? Is that why we're leaving?

I feel the rushing water beneath my feet before I can see the chasm. I push my way to the front of our group, only a few steps behind Christina. Four is by my side and I send him a questioning look, but he just shakes his head.

When we reach the bridge Eric stops suddenly and grabs onto the only railing, he pushes Christina off with his other hand while still tightly gripping her wrist. "Grab the rail." He tells her.

Fours hand is wrapped around my wrist and he's squeezing so hard I know there will be a bruise in the morning. I try to snatch my hand from his grasp but he just squeezes tighter, he doesn't even look my way, his eyes are glued on Christina, whose sobbing from her precarious position over the chasm. The roar of the water is so loud now I can barely hear what Eric is saying, "Or don't." he says letting go of her hand.

Christina fumbles but grabs the rail and I take this moment to catch my breath, ready to sprint forward if it looks like she might be slipping.

"You have three options," Eric says, standing over her, "hang there and I'll forget your cowardice, fall and die, or give up. But if you give up your out."

The next five minutes pas tortuously slow, I keep my eyes on my watch and on Christina. She does fine for the first two minutes but then halfway through the third the river hits the wall and sends a wall of water crashing into Christina. She lets out a muffled scream, her fingers are slipping ever so slowly.

"Come on, Christina!" I scream at her, hopefully she can hear me. Next to me Al and Will join in cheering her on.

Her left hand slips and we all go silent for a moment.

"Come on, grab it!" Al says loudly, "You can do it, Grab it."

We all watch in silence as Christina swings her own body trying to reach for the railing with her left hand.

"Come on Christina! You've got this, your almost there!" I scream at her from the top of my lungs. I check my watch and she only has fifteen seconds left. I slap Four's hand from my wrist and go to move forward, Al follows me.

Eric sees us moving forward and throws his hand up in the air, he takes his time checking his watch before leaving across to the other side of the chasm. We pull her up and sit there for a moment leaning against the opposite side of the walkway, the only side with an actual railing to keep you from falling. Four announces that we are done for the day, leaving in the same direction as Eric.

Al and I take Christina back to the dormitory. He sits with her while I go back towards the clinic to grab Tris for lunch.

* * *

When I get there she's awake and I feel better.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" I ask.

"Like I got run over by the train." She laughs.

"I'm so sorry Tris, I wanted it to be over quicker than that, but you just wouldn't stay down." I tell her.

"What can I say," She says, getting out of the bed, "I'm hard headed."

As we make our way to the dining hall I tell Tris about everything that happened while she was ouy starting with seeing Max in the shadows of our training room and ending with Eric being an ass and throwing Christina over the railing before storming away with Four hot on his heels.

"What do you think Max was doing there?" She asks.

I look around before pulling her into what must be some sort of music store. "I don't know, but something's going on. The other night at dinner Eric was trying to talk Four into a leadership position so that they would change things back to the way they used to be. I think Eric saw Max and that's why he pushed Christina, he didn't want to, he had to!" I whisper into her ear.

After that I pull her out of the music store and we continue on our way to dinner.

"Even if that is true why would Eric care? He's about as Dauntless as it comes." Tris says.

"I don't know." I tell her, "I don't know.

The next morning Tris and I walk with Christina who is struggling to keep up with our already sluggish pace.

Tris is doing okay despite a colorful array of bruise on her face, and I look very similar to her just less severe. Christina however has a busted lip, and her nose is slightly swollen, this morning when we were changing she showed us her abdomen and the entirety of it is covered in black and blue bruises that somewhat resemble a human foot, _at least we fight barefoot._

When we walk in the board reads off our fights for the day:

Edward v Molly

Will v Christina

Penelope v Myra

Al v Drew

Tris v Peter

Instantly we all turn to Tris, Peter is a monster when it comes to fighting. He's ruthless and he's cruel and it's disgusting.

"Maybe you can just take a few hits and pretend to go unconscious," Al suggests.

"That is a seriously good idea that you should really consider." I tell Tris, if I had been fighting Peter today, after having been knocked out yesterday I would have been thinking just that.

The fight between Edward and Molly ends quickly. Molly might be the biggest girl but Edward is by far the best fighter we have, he's quick and lethal, and it only takes him minutes to knock her out.

Christina and Will are up next, I quick paying attention as they begin to circle each other.

"I don't wanna sound like a broken record here Tris, but you need to do well in these fights. Come at him quick and fast, get in a few good punches then back up, let him come at you, he's strong but his stamina isn't that good, he'll get tired and hopefully they'll end it in a stalemate." I tell her.

"I doubt it, but I'll try." She say, "Myra's weaker then you, but she's fast so you need to watch yourself," She tells me, "Edward was giving her pointers this morning, her told her to go for the knees since she's so small."

"How does he know this stuff?" I ask her and Al pops up beside us to answer my question. "Apparently he studied fighting since he was like five, we have an extensive collection of books on technique in our library."

"Great," I mumble to myself as I watch Will help Christina off the mat.

Myra is short, maybe five and a half feet tall, but that might be pushing it. She's as skinny as a bean poll and has short blonde hair cut into a pixie cut. Her features are sharp and angular, she reminds me of a fairy for some reason.

When we step on the mat she wastes no time charging at me, bending down low she aims for my knees and I'm too slow to move out of the way so I just drop down to my knees and meet her head on. Shock flashes in her eyes for a moment before determination takes over and she tackles me to the ground. My shoulder blades slam against the mat and my skull follows, my head is throbbing and I throw my arms up to protect my face from the weak but quick punches she aims at me.

I lay still for a moment before allowing my muscles to coil up and placing my hands on her chest, by her collarbones. I launch myself forward pushing her off of me and bringing myself into a sitting position. Myra flies backwards in the air a couple feet before crash landing on the ground. She too rolls herself up into a sitting position.

"Any day now, initiates!" Eric calls off to the side somewhere.

I ignore him and allow the anger inside me to boil up, Myra isn't my friend and I don't care what happens to her. If she ends up factionless that her own fault. I spring forward onto my feet and she meets me. Myra is a kicker and so I have to adapt myself to her moves, she gets me a couple times in the thigh before swinging her right leg out wide, aiming for my hip. When he shin connects I'm ready and I wrap my left arm around her calve in a vice like grip.

Pulling her towards me I rain punch after punch down on her body, any spot where she isn't covering herself is good enough for me. I bring my fist back again prepared to punch her in the face this time when her claw like fingernails latch onto my shoulder, painfully digging into my skin. She drags her hand down towards the center of my back, I can feel the skin ripping as she scratches me and the blood trickling down my back.

A scream comes out of my mouth and the only thing I can think to do to get her to stop is to head-butt her, so I do.

Myra crumples to the ground, falling onto her back and I land forward on my knees. Turning my head over my shoulder I can see the three deep cuts she's left on my back, I can see where they start but not where they end.

Edward is on the mat now and he's pulled Myra into his arms, Four tells him to take her to the clinic.

I stand up on my own, waving off Tris and Al who are waiting at the end of the mat. Four and Eric come up behind me and one of them is pulling my tank top up and over my head. If it weren't for the tight, elastic bra I was wearing I would have screamed at them for taking my shirt off.

"They're pretty deep," Four says coming around to speak to me, "I don't think you'll need stitches but run down to the clinic and get them cleaned out, come back as soon as you can." I move to go forward toward the exit when Eric presses my tank top into the center of my back causing me to hiss in pain.

"What the hell!" I yell at him.

"Watch it initiate," Is all he says before gesturing to Christina to come hold the shirt to my back. "Take her to the clinic and then you both come right back here, do you understand?" He asks her in a slightly degrading tone.

Christina nods her head furiously before ushering me gently out of the door.

* * *

**I'm so excited to be posting this chapter because I just finished writing chapter seven and let me tell you that one has got some good stuff in it! But in order for me to post chapter seven I'm going to need to see some reviews! Thanks again to everyone who is reading this story, it means the most to me! Much love!**


	7. Chapter Seven

The Second Day of Every Third Month – Chapter Seven

"How bad is it?" I ask Christina when we've left the training room.

I can't help but to notice how much the Dauntless really don't like hand railings. We're probably five stories in the air walking along a path that has been carved out of the stone that makes up the Pit, no railings anywhere. Christina and I do an awkward two step as she walks too close behind me with my t-shirt pressed into my back.

"I think it looks worse than it actually is, Eric probably just wanted to scare you." she says.

"I wouldn't doubt it, he seems to be as cruel as they come." I say, but I know that's not true, I also know that if I told Christina that she probably wouldn't understand.

"I agree."

"That was crazy in there, when I was fighting Myra, I've never seen someone go so crazy when their fighting." I tell her under my breath.

"Penelope, were basically fighting for our lives here, I imagine pretty soon everyone is going to be fighting like that, and you do whatever you have to in order to win." Christina's right, were all here for the same reason but only ten of us get to stay.

"Let's just get this done as quickly as possible, I don't wanna miss any more training." I say walking into the clinic.

The nurses are quick to usher us over to a bed where they instruct me to lay down on my stomach. My nurse looks to be a little bit older than us with bright pink hair, her arms are covered in tattoos and her ears look to be made up of more metal then flesh.

"Transfer initiates, right?" She ask, Christina and I both nod our heads in the affirmative.

"I remember my initiation…" She signs dramatically before wiping at the cuts on my back. I bite down on my knuckle to keep myself from yelping out in pain. "…Those were the days." She sighs again before covering my back in clean white gauze.

"Try to keep the area as clean as possible, I know you can't ask the other kids not to hit you there, but just be careful." I nod my head and get up to leave just as Myra starts to wake up. She rolls around lightly on her bed before her eyelids starts to flutter.

"Don't worry," the nurse says to us before moving over to Myra's bed, "She'll be fine."

"Do you think she'll hate me?" I ask Christina as we make our way back towards the training room.

"Who cares," she says, "we've got more important things to worry about then whether or not some stupid Erudite princess hates you because you punched her out."

"I'm really happy you're here," I tell her, "If it was just Tris and I, I don't know if we'd be able to get through it on our own, your just so good at keeping it light when shit gets real you know?"

"Sometimes telling the truth is all it takes, that's the only thing I've ever learned from Candor." Christina says as we push through the door to the training room. We've made it back just in time to see Peter standing over Tris his foot ready to collide with her face.

"Holy shit." Christina whispers next to me as Four storms past us.

Peter looks over to Eric, who nods his head in approval, before slamming his foot down on Tris' face successfully knocking her unconscious.

* * *

When Tris wakes up we've all moved her into the dormitory. She's only been out for a couple hours.

"What happened to your face?" Tris asks, looking to Christina who is holding an icepack to her jaw to keep the swelling from her fight earlier down.

"Look who's talking," Christina laughs, "should we get you an eye patch?"

"Well, I already know what happened to my face, I was there. Sort of." Tris says.

"Did you just make a joke?" Will asks and I snicker beside him, "We should get you on painkillers more often if you're going to start cracking jokes."

We all sit around Tris' bed for a while just laughing and relaxing trying to ease all of our own aches and pains. Tris' eye is black and blue but she can still see out of it, while she was out we iced it so her swelling isn't as bad as it had originally been.

When Christina and I had first gotten into the training room after Peter kicked her in the face I was furious, everything I saw before me was cast in varying shades of red, Peter would pay. Then I realized he was doing exactly what Christina and I had talked about, whatever he had to win. The real issue was that Eric had Ok'd Peters barbaric kick to the face. Peter wasn't the issue here it was Eric.

Christina couldn't stop me from storming up to him, prepared to give him a piece of my mind, but before I could open my mouth to speak he stopped me, wrapping his hand around my wrist, which I was using to aim an accusatory finger in his face.

Eric had been quick to reprimand me in front of everyone, making sure that I understood that in Dauntless you always follow your orders no matter what. He also took the time to remind me that I had to earn my spot in Dauntless, that just because I was doing well now didn't mean I would continue to do so. The look he gave me after he was done talking was so cold the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and I bit down hard on my lower lip to stop the involuntary shiver that was coursing through my body.

In that moment the only thing I could think about was how horrible the man standing in front of me really was.

It was good that he did that though, lately it feels like I've been distracted, too caught up in this new world to fully realize that I might not have a permanent spot in it.

"You feeling all right?" I ask Tris moving off of her bed to grab a sweater to throw over my shoulders, I still only have just my sweats and sport bra on.

"Yeah, I just wish I could stay here forever, never see Peter again."

"Sadly I don't think that's gonna happen," I laugh, pulling on a ridiculous large black cardigan, the scratches on my back have scabbed over and when I swing the sweater over my shoulder I can feel them pull tightly "besides, it's nearly dinner time, you need to eat, it will make you feel better."

Slowly we all pull each other up off the bed, each one of us is covered in a myriad of bruises. We limp our way down to the dining hall leaning against one another for support. I walk ahead of Tris and Al who are talking quietly about how Al doesn't like the fighting, and behind Christina and Will who are shamelessly flirting with each other.

We pass by the tattoo shop and I wave to Riley who is manning the front desk. Its dinner time though so the Pit is almost dead quiet except for the dull roar of the water coming from the chasm. He sees me and waves before going back to doodling something on a pad of paper.

"Who was that?" Christina asks, somehow noticing that I had waved to Riley while also staring at Will.

"That was Riley, he did my tattoo…" I tell her.

"You got one! What? Lemme see!" She screeches and she's wiggled her way out from underneath Will's arm and now standing beside me. How she didn't notice one I had gotten one when we were in the shop the other day I don't know.

_Then again Christina and Will have attached themselves to each other pretty firmly lately, it makes sense for her to be less perceptive around him. _

I hold my hand out to her and she looks confused before grabbing it and turning it over and over again, finally on the inside of my finger she sees it. "A bullet?" she asks.

"Yeah…" I sigh pulling my hand back, "I like the guns, when we were firing them I was good, real good so I got this. I like it, it's too small for anyone to exploit as a weakness in a fight, so that's good too."

"That's smart," she says moving back under Will's arm.

Dinner that night is a silent affair, most of us are too tired to say anything, just slumping against each other and slowly shoveling food into our mouths. Out of the corner of my eye I see Eric and Four coming our way, I kick all the feet under the table and painfully straighten my back, the others follow my lead when they see whose coming towards our table over my shoulder.

"Tomorrow morning were going on a field trip, seven am, if you don't get on the train in the morning I wouldn't bother still being here when we get back." Eric stares everyone down for a moment before he turns on his heel and leaves.

"Penelope," Four says tapping my shoulder, "can you come with me please?" The way he asks makes it sound like I have a choice but I know I don't so I grab the roll from my plate and slowly stand to follow him.

"Am I in trouble?" I ask him as we round the corner.

"I wish you were." Eric says, his tone of voice lacks the usual layer of sarcasm, now he just sounds plain old mean, maybe that's his normal voice. _Still cruel sounding._

"There's been an accident," Eric tells me and we're making our way towards the train platform, off in the distance I can hear the whistle blowing.

We all pick our speed up into a light jog, Eric in front, Four behind, me in the middle.

If there was an accident and they're only telling me about it, and we have to get on the train…

"No." I say to myself and in that moment I feel small and my legs have stopped working and I just want to crumple up into a ball. But Four is behind me and he's pushing me forward so I can't stop, I have to keep moving.

The train is coming up beside us and Eric jumps in effortlessly, he leans halfway out of the car and I grab his hand because I don't feel like trying anymore and I can't see because the tears are blurring my vision. Eric doesn't let go of my hand after he's pulled me into the car, or even after Four has followed us and shut the doors. Four walks the length of the car and back again checking every crack and crevice for I don't know what but still Eric holds my hand.

"Your house in Abnegation was lit on fire today." Four says, coming to stand in front of me.

My legs give out and my chin falls to my chest, I can feel my body being racked by sobs, but still nothing is real. Eric is standing behind me now, he shoves his hands under my arms before hauling me up off the ground.

"Keep it together." He whispers cruelly in my ear.

"Penelope everyone is okay, your parents sustained minor burns, were taking you out here because this is the only safe place for us to talk." Four says lifting my chin up so I look him in the eyes. "We think someone targeted your parents because they're divergent."

"I don't know what that means?" I cry out the tears rolling freely down my face, happy tears now because my parents are okay. "What does that mean?" I ask him.

"It means that they didn't belong in any one faction, being a divergent is dangerous, someone must have found out and decided to deal with it. I know its hard Penelope but do you know of anyone that might have harbored an ill will towards your family? Anyone that might have wished your family harm?" Four asks.

"What about Rose?" I ask him. "My little sister! What about Rose!" I scream back at him. He said my parents were alright but nothing about Rose.

Four looks confused for a moment and he is walking away to the other side of the train pulling something out of his pocket. Eric turns me around and pushes my back up against the wall of the train, with his heavy hands on my shoulders, he fixes me with a glare that seems to stop my lungs from working. I pull myself together and wipe the snot and tears from my face while Eric looks on in disgust.

Someone tried to kill my family.

"Penelope." Eric.

I push him to the side and stand by the door to the train, any minute now and we'll be rolling up on the Abnegation neighborhood.

"Penelope, Four is finding out about your sister right now." I ignore him and push the button besides the door, the 'woosh!' open and I have a white knuckle grip on the bar by the door to keep myself from being sucked out the side.

"Penelope listen to me!" Eric snaps pulling me away from the open doors, he slaps his hand against the button and the doors close themselves again. "We are trying to help you. If you know of anyone that wanted to hurt your family you need to tell us, if not okay, but if you know anything you need to tell us and you need to do it now. Stop acting like a stupid child, you're in the real world now and you need to act like it." His cold eyes and his iron like grip on my arm shake me out of my dream like state.

_Maybe if I hadn't transferred I could have saved them. This is all my fault. _

"Yes, Penelope, it is your fault!" Eric says to me, I must have said that last part out loud. "If you had just stayed in Abnegation like you belong no one would have tried to kill your family." The statement is dripping with sarcasm, "Or better yet, maybe you would have been able to prevent your house from ever being lit on fire in the first place, because you clearly are capable of such things." He sneers.

"Grow up right now," he continues, "grow up, answer my questions, or else…"

"Or else what?" I ask straightening up, crossing my arms over my chest and attempting to glare him down.

"Or else you're out." Is all he says before walking away and switching places with Four.

"Well," Four is standing in front of me now, "Who might have wanted to hurt your family?"

"I don't know anyone specifically, but my dad is on the council, I assume he had enemies in other factions, maybe Erudite, lately they've been releasing a lot of bullshit stories in the papers." I spit out, still trying to reign in my anger and humiliation from being yelled at by Eric.

Four nods before looking behind me to Eric, who in return also nods. I raise my eyebrow in question before Four begins to speak again, "Your sister is alright, she was in school when the fire was started,"

A breath of air releases itself from my lungs and already I feel better. Rosie is alright, my parents are alright, but someone tried to kill them.

Four opens the door to the train again and we all throw ourselves from the car. I land on my feet and stop to catch my breath for a moment before the two Dauntless men pull me along after them in a run.

"We can't stay long, initiate, just long enough to see the house and talk to the neighbors, then were gone. Understood?" Eric orders from behind me.

When we turn down my old street I can see the Prior's standing outside, Mrs. Prior is holding Rosie who is sleeping against her shoulder. Next thing I know I'm sprinting towards them and my little sister is running towards me. I crash into her and lift her into my arms.

"I'm so sorry Rosie, I'm so, so sorry." I whisper into her long blonde hair. "If I had stayed I could have done something this is all my fault Rosie, all my fault."

She doesn't say anything for a minute just stays there in my arms and then I can hear her quietly crying against my shoulder. I put her down on the ground and squat so I'm eye level with her.

"Rosie what's wrong?" I ask her.

"It's not your fault!" She cries, "I yelled at Mommy and Daddy it's all my fault, I yelled at them because you left and when I left for school this morning they said they were staying home and now they're hurt and it's all my fault!"

"No! Rosie this isn't your fault, you didn't start this fire, someone… someone wanted to hurt us but they didn't. Rosie this isn't your fault." I drag my sister along with me towards the Prior's and ask Mrs. Prior if she'll take my sister to bed.

"What happed?" I ask Mr. Prior, "Did you see anything?"

"The council was given the day off today for self-reflection. Things have become very heated lately between Abnegation and Erudite, they're trying to accuse us of hiding divergents!"

"But that's ridiculous!" I tell him, "Isn't it?"

"Penelope the council members that were here before your father and I convinced he and your mother to transfer to Abnegation when they found out they were divergent on their testing day. Abnegation members always try to help divergents, sometimes they listen and sometimes they don't. It is my personal opinion that someone found out about your parents and tried to kill them to send a message to our faction as a whole." Mr. Prior says while leading us into his home.

"But that's ludicrous, why would they want to kill divergents? I don't understand." I'm so confused with the influx of information, I throw my hands up around my head and rub at my temples while sitting on the small grey couch in the Prior's living room.

"Jeanine Matthews believes divergents to be a threat to the system that we live by." Eric stands in the corner of the room, his black clothing contrast with the room so powerfully he makes everything around him seem insignificant and dull. "What I'm about to say cannot leave this room." He says glaring me down before sending the same look in the direction of Mr. Prior.

"Jeanine has been meeting with Max lately, I don't know what they've been discussing but none of it has been good. Four and I have been trying to get information but it seems the only way would be for me to become directly involved." He says.

"Well why haven't you?" I ask, "Became directly involved? You can stop this!"

"He'd be in there alone, Penelope, if Jeanine found out that he knew..." Four stops for a moment, reconsidering what he was about to say, "It's just very dangerous for us right now."

"Us?" I ask him.

Eric steps forward from his corner of the room and crosses his arms over his chest. He looks to Mr. Prior for a moment and then to Four and back to Mr. Prior before looking to me.

"We are the resistance."

* * *

**Woot! Woot! I personally love the ending, it just leaves so much to be thought over by the reader! Please let me know what you think? What is the resistance? What is there purpose? Do you guys like the direction I'm headed in? I love feedback so please give me some! Thank you again to everyone that's been reviewing/following/favoriting you are all such amazing people! Much love! Until next time!**


	8. Chapter Eight

The Second Day of Every Third Month – Chapter Eight

"What do you mean resistance? Resisting what?" I ask Eric.

We've just left the Prior's home and are now making our way back towards the Dauntless compound.

Four steps forward and grabs me by the arm, it doesn't hurt but he squeezes hard enough to let me know that he isn't messing around, "Change. A couple years before Eric and I transferred to Dauntless they started to change how they did things. Dauntless isn't just about being brave anymore, it's about being ruthless, and we don't like that. During our initiation year we found out about how Erudite has been hunting divergents and we've been trying to change things ever since. We just started working with some of the Abnegation leaders this year."

"Why are you telling me all of this? I'm not divergent, sure my parents are but I'm not in any danger, am I?"

Eric and Four share a look and for a moment it looks as if they've aged before my eyes. Four's handsome face is pale and sick looking, the bags under his eyes highlight the tired look in his eyes. Eric's skin is covered in a layer of sweat from our run into and out of the Abnegation sector. In the moonlight his hair looks grey instead of blonde. The men that stand on either side of me are noticeably tired, like they've been working for days on end to accomplish some goal, and for all I know they may have been.

Eric shakes his head above me before he continues to walk in the direction of the Dauntless Compound, like he's suddenly decide that I am no longer worthy of the information he possess.

"What was that?" I ask, running after Four who has started to follow Eric. "Why'd he just do that?"

"Four!" I scream, wrapping my hand around his bicep and pulling him back towards me. "What is wrong with you? Why are you acting all weird and mysterious? I understand Eric acting like that because he's a selfish asshole, but you? I never would have guessed it." Four opens his mouth to interrupt me but I throw my hand up in his face to stop him before continuing. "Obviously you guys dragged me out here for a reason, but if you guys aren't going to tell me then I'm leaving."

I release Four's arm before climbing up onto the tracks and waiting for the train, off in the distance I can hear the low rumble as it rounds the corner and makes its way towards us.

Eric and Four have joined me on the platform but I make sure to hop on the first car of the train while they both take the last car. Looking back through the empty cars I can see Eric and Four arguing with each other.

When the train rolls by the Dauntless Compound main entrance I watch as Four and Eric fling themselves from their train car, I ride on for a minute longer before jumping out at the same spot I did just a few days before on Choosing Day.

I don't even think before breaking out in a dead sprint and launching myself off the roof.

* * *

I don't even bother trying to go to sleep when I make it back to the dormitory, it's already 4 am, and we have to be on the train in three hours. Instead I grab a fresh change of clothes and take a shower.

Stepping under the spray of hot water instantly makes me feel better, the muscles in my shoulders, back, and legs finally relax after nearly 24 hours of being worked to the bone. I slide down against the wall of my shower stall and let my head drop into my hands, today's events finally sinking into me.

_Someone or some people tried to kill my family today and I wasn't there to protect them. They could have died today and I wasn't there to protect them. I don't deserve to be alive, I am the most selfish human being on the planet. _

_I am a disgrace to my parents and to the Abnegation faction, after everything they've done for me how could I just leave them like that? And without telling them before hand, I truly am a horrible daughter and sister. _

I sit in the shower like that, crying into my arm, until I can hear someone else starting the shower next to mine. Quickly I get up and make my way back to my bunk where I change as fast as possible into a tank top and some elastic shorts.

"You do know we are going outside today, right?" Christina asks me from her bed.

_We have a field trip today_, I quickly pull a pair of sweats on over my shorts before sliding my shoes onto my feet. "Thanks." I laugh under my breath trying to cover up the tears that are threatening to spill over.

"You alright?" she asks me.

"Shouldn't we wake Tris up?" I dodge her question, turning to look at Tris' sleeping form, "It's nearly 6."

"Yeah, I'll wake her up. Do you wanna go run and grab us some muffins to eat on our way to the train?"

I don't even bother answering her, I just turn on my heel and begin a steady jog to the dining hall. It isn't necessary that I run but the distraction is nice. If I have to focus on not bumping into people then I will have less time to focus on my own emotions.

By the time I make it into the dining hall a light layer of sweat has covered my skin and I can feel my heart beating in my chest, I feel great, the endorphins from my run have lifted my spirits enough that I no longer feel like curling up in a ball and crying my eyes out all day.

_I won't let my emotions get the better of me today,_ I tell myself.

Will and Al are sitting at a table already when I open the doors to the dining hall.

"Hey Penelope, come sit with us!" Al calls from across the room.

"I can't," I say while depositing muffins into various pockets in my sweatpants, "I have to go feed Christina and Tris. Also," I look to my watch, "it's almost 6:30! I need to go, I'll see you on the train!" I call over my shoulder while sprinting towards the door.

I look over my shoulder at the boys one last time before sprinting through the door and back towards the dormitory. On the floor of the Pit I push my way past several angry Dauntless members who don't even look to be awake yet. It isn't until I'm near the Chasm that someone stops me with a firm grip on my upper arm.

"Why the rush, Stiff?" Eric sneers in my ear. I can see Four standing over his shoulder, neither of them look like they slept after our little adventure last night.

"I need to go bring Christina and Tris muffins." I tell him, pulling one out of my pocket and biting into it, its tastes faintly of bananas.

He releases me with a shove and storms past me, pushing me up into the only railing that keeps anyone from falling into the Chasm.

I give myself a second to catch my breath before I sprint in the same direction as them, when I pass them by I give them a wide birth making sure Eric's long arms can't reach out and grab me again.

In the dormitory Christina is tying Tris' shoes for her.

"Good morning Tris." I tell her while thrusting a muffin into her hands before turning to Christina and handing her a muffin as well.

"You bit my muffin?" Christina asks.

"Yeah, sorry about that," I tell her, "We need to keep moving you guys, we've got 15 minutes before the train leaves."

We don't talk the entire way to the train tracks, it isn't until were standing by the tracks huddling for warmth that Tris says anything.

"Penelope where'd you go last night? With Four and Eric?" Out of the corner of my eye I can see Four and Eric and for a minute I don't know whether or not I should lie to my best friend or not. Obviously I can't tell her the whole truth, but should I just dismiss her completely?

No, she's one of my only friends, and so is Christina. They both stand there staring at me for a minute before I begin to tell them what happened, stepping closer into our small huddle.

"There was an accident in Abnegation last night." I tell them, Tris looks shocked and worried while Christina just looks confused. "My parents' home caught fire last night. Eric and Four took me out there so I could see them." Not a complete lie.

"Are they alright?" Christina asks.

"I actually didn't get to see them last night. They're staying with Tris' parents, I think they'll be alright but I was out all night last night. Poor Rosie thought it was her fault to she was so mad with herself."

"They're with my parents?" Tris asks.

"Yeah, I talked with your dad last night, they think someone attacked my parents, but they don't know why." I tell her, she looks sad and I feel bad that I didn't have anything to tell her.

The tracks start to rattle beneath my feet and we all form ourselves into a line before we start to jog along the tracks. I am first in line with Tris behind me and Christina behind her. Climbing into the train today is easier, I've had more practice then anyone else. Once I'm steady on my feet I reach my hand out to Tris and help pull her up into the car. I can't even imagine how much pain she's in right now.

I sit down next to her with Christina on my other side. The entire train car is silent while we all settle in. The sun is just starting to rise and the entire city is illuminated in the pinkish orange light of the suns rays.

"What do you think is out there?" Tris asks, "Beyond the fence, I mean."

I shrug my shoulders, Christina smirks and I know she's going to say something smart. "A bunch of farms."

"Beyond the farms. What are we guarding the city from?" Tris asks again.

"Nothing probably," I tell her, "We don't ever go passed the Amity farms so how do we even know there's anything out there we need to guard ourselves from?" I ask her.

"We didn't even have guards near the fence until five years ago," says Will. "Don't you remember when Dauntless police used to patrol the factionless sector?"

Tris and I both nod our heads in silence.

"That's right, I bet you guys saw them all the time." He says.

"What does that mean?" Tris asks angrily.

"Because you had to pass the factionless sector to get to school, right?"

"What did you do, memorize a map of the city for fun?" Christina giggles.

"Yes," says Will, looking puzzled, "Didn't you?"

We all lurch forward from our spots on the floor as the train slows down for a minute to allow us to jump out of the car. The fence stands before us in all of its glory, ten stories high, and buzzing with an electric current. _If the fence is electric then why do we need to guard it? _

"Follow me," says Four, leading us to the base of the fence. "If you don't rank in the top five at the end of initiation you will probably end up here," He pushes the gate door open, "Once you are a fence guard there is some potential for advancement, but not much. You may be able to patrol the Amity farms, but –"

"Patrols for what purpose?" asks Will.

"Don't do well in initiation and you'll find out." Eric growls from behind us. I hadn't noticed how close he had been standing behind me. I shift on my feet, aching to move from within his reach but I know he'll say something if I do.

"What rank were you guys?" Peter asks and I can feel Eric stiffen behind me.

Four stares Peter down before saying "We were the best in our class." An ambiguous answer that keeps Peter quiet and has Eric releasing his breath behind me.

We stop walking on the other side of the gate when Eris speaks up, "Edward and Penelope you are with me, everyone else continue on with Four." He places his hand on my shoulder in a vice like grip and I can't do anything but stand there.

Edward makes his way towards us while Tris and Christina send me a worried look before moving on in the direction Four was taking them.

"The two of you did the best in shooting so I've prepared a little test for you." He says while pushing me forward to climb a ladder to the top of the fence.

A Dauntless guard comes out of nowhere and gestures for Edward to climb a ladder about twenty feet down from mine.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask Eric, not even trying to hide the malice in my voice.

"I already told you, initiate, or do you need to clean your ears out?" he says below me where he is also climbing the ladder.

"I heard you, but why are we being tested separately from everyone else? Shouldn't we all be tested on the same stuff?"

"Depending on how well the two of you do, there may be a very good job waiting for you after initiation." is all he says.

We've climbed about 25 feet in the air when we reach the first platform on the fence. To my right I can see Edward standing on a platform just like mine, the Dauntless Guard is instructing him on how to use a rifle that looks way bigger than the one we used the other day. Next to me Eric opens up a black case and pulls a similar looking rifle out.

"This is a Sniper Rifle." He says, resting the butt of the gun on his hip. "You are going to use it to hit some targets I've had placed out in the field." He thrusts the gun into my hands before moving to stand behind me.

He stares at me for a moment before telling me to shoot.

"But I don't even know how to use this thing," I tell him, holding it awkwardly in my arms. The gun itself is almost half my height.

"Yes you do, think initiate." I look to my right and see Edward lying flat on his stomach with the butt of his rifle pushed up into his shoulder. I mimic him lying down on my stomach. I pop the cover of the scope open and look into it.

"Not so close." He says, pointing to the scope. "If you put it right up to your eye when the gun kicks back you'll have a black eye." I do as he says and pull my head back away from the scope leaving a couple inches of room.

"Check the tree line," Eric instructs me, laying down beside me and pulling binoculars out of his pocket.

I look over the tree line once and see nothing so I look again this time taking my time to check every tree. And there it is, a small orange circle nailed to the trunk of a tree hundreds of feet away from us.

"I see it." I tell him.

"Okay, there is no wind right now so you don't need to worry about adjusting. This rifle you're using is bolt-action which means that you need to grab the little lever above where your right hand is placed and pull it back to load the bullet into the chamber."

For a minute I grab blindly at my gun trying to find this lever, not wanting to lose my target, before Eric's large hand grabs mine a places it on the little lever sticking out of the side of the gun.

"After the bullets in the chamber I want you to take a deep breath in, and when you exhale pull the trigger slowly."

I do as he says, filling my lungs up with air before slowly releasing it and pulling the trigger.

The gun kicks back, slamming itself firmly into my shoulder, I'm glad he warned me about the recoil, the loud bang that follows comes from the gun as well as the bullet which has sunk itself into the metal target 500 feet away.

I look to my right to see Edward staring at me angrily before he turns back to his gun and ready's himself to fire. His instructor doesn't bother to point out that his face is too close to the scope, I snicker to myself, knowing that when this exercise is over he'll have a black eye.

"So do I win?" I ask Eric

"Not yet, kid." He says standing from his spot next to me. He grabs the rifle from my hands and puts it back in the case before picking the case up and waiting for me at the base of the ladder. I pick the bullet casing up off the ground before pocketing it and climbing another twenty feet to the next platform.

This time Eric tells me to check the open field just beyond the tree line for a target. Easily enough I spot the target and pull the lever back allowing the bullet to slide into the chamber before pushing it forward to secure its place.

"Wait." Eric says, placing his hand on my forearm. I can't see his face because he is staring intently through his binoculars.

"Do you see that?" He asks me.

I check my scope again before noticing what he is talking about, at the bottom of my vision I can see the trees blowing steadily in the breeze.

"It's windy." I tell him.

"Aim like you did last time and we'll see how far off you are before you need to readjust."

_I don't need Eric's help with this_, I tell myself. _Think Penelope, think. _

It is not really windy just a light breeze east that can't affect the bullet too much, can it? _So, if I am facing north and the winds blowing maybe five miles per hour then I just need to offset from the target maybe a foot or so to the left? What am I kidding myself I have no clue what I'm doing, none of this makes sense._

"Fuck it," I say to myself under my breath, next to me Eric snickers. I don't give him time to respond before I take a deep breath and pull the trigger. The gun rocks back into my shoulder and I'm surprised to hear a light ping as the bullet glances off the side of the target.

"Not too bad initiate, you could have done better but I honestly didn't expect much of you to begin with." This time it isn't Eric insulting me with backhand complements. I turn from my spot on the floor and standing just a few feet behind us is Max.

Eric jumps up from his spot on the floor next to me and goes to talk to Max.

"I told you she would do well." Eric says.

"Yes, you did." Max says pulling his hands behind his back. "If she continues to do well she may be of use to us."

"I was going to recommend her and the boy Edward for the open sharpshooter positions, they are the best we've got." Eric looks back to me for a moment but I busy myself with packing the rifle back into the case.

"I may just have a better position for her, with our new alliance she may be very useful. The boy can be recommended for sharpshooter but I have plans for her." I can feel Max's eyes on me and I can't help but to shiver under his gaze. I try to play it off, rubbing my arms to keep away an imaginary chill.

"Initiates," Eric sneers, "So forgetful." He pulls his jacket off and throws it at me, underneath he wears a tight black long sleeve shirt, accompanied by his signature vest. His jacket is three sizes too big for me but I shrug it on anyways. It smells like pine and smoke.

Max hums noncommittally before moving down the ladder and over to Edwards platform.

I climb up the same ladder to the last platform before saying anything to Eric.

"What the fuck was that!" I whisper scream at him, "What the fuck did you just get me into."

"I'm not sure." He says before moving to lay on his stomach, pulling his binoculars out of his pocket again. "You'll be working in the kitchens every night for the rest of the week."

"What for?" I screech at him, pulling the lever back on the rifle and preparing myself to take the shot.

"Insubordination." Is all he says before snickering when I miss the same target I had just hit on the platform below.

"The higher up you go the windier it gets, try aiming a hair higher and to the left." He says, squinting into his binoculars.

* * *

When we get back from our field trip we take an hour break for lunch before meeting back in the training room. I have discarded my sweats and Eric's jacket back in the dormitory, if anyone noticed that I had it they didn't say anything.

"I saw you and Edward up there shooting." Christina says while we walk to the training room.

"Eric said that we did the best in shooting practice so he wanted to test us. He said something about a sharpshooter position after initiation but I don't know." I tell her thinking about what I heard Max telling Eric about his plans for me.

"What do you mean you don't know? That sounds awesome Penelope." Will pipes up on Christina's other side.

"I'm just not sure if that's what I want to do."

"I thought you said that shooting was something that you liked, and I mean obviously you're good at it, so why don't you want to take the job?" Christina asks.

"It's just that…" I release a frustrated breath of air, "I don't know, I don't know!" Walking into the training room Christina drops the issue but I know it's not for long.

Eric and Four are sparring on the mat in the center of the room. Both of the have discarded their shirts and shoes, Eric is at least half a foot taller than Four, and big as a house but Four is faster. They dance around each other for a few minutes stepping in to trade blows before stepping away from each other.

Hanging on the wall beside them is the chalkboard that has the list of who we will be fighting today. Tris and Myra will both be sitting out due to injuries. I rub my back where newly formed scabs from my fight yesterday reside. The skin is still tight but not a restricting as it had been last night. The salve the nurses rubbed on it must have accelerated healing properties.

The board reads:

Edward v. Penelope

Will v. Peter

Molly v. Al

Christina v. Drew

Sitting out – Tris and Myra

Eric and Four step off the mat and gesture for Edward and me to take their places. There is no way I can beat Edward, he's over 6ft tall and solid muscle, the best I can hope for is that he's merciful, but considering the fact that I put his girlfriend in the hospital I wouldn't put it past him to beat the living crap out of me.

I don't have time to strategize so I just take my shoes off and consign myself to my fate before stepping on the mat. I jump from foot to foot and crack my knuckles, across from me Edward does the same. Just because it's unlikely that I'll win doesn't mean I won't try my hardest.

Four tells us to begin and Edward charges at me full speed, I try to move out of his way but I'm not quick enough, he slams his fist into the left side of my face and I immediately hit the ground. He backs up and gives me the time to get to my feet. He's going to drag this out for as long as he can.

I pull myself up onto my knees and before staggering to my feet. I weakly throw my hands up in front of my face to protect myself but Edward instead aims for my stomach. I drop to my knees again and watch as blood falls from my face onto the mat. He must have busted my lip open when he hit me the first time. I kneel over on my hands and knees spitting up blood and collecting myself.

"I don't have all day initiate, either get up or quit." Eric's words fill me up with anger and adrenalin and I'm back on my feet.

Edwards big, and he's fast and he's strong. The only weakness of his that he always takes a moment to recover after sprinting towards me. I'm not even sure if that counts as a weakness. I back up the edge of the mat and bounce on the balls of my feet waiting for him to charge at me. When he does I'm ready, I drop to my knees and roll behind him before standing up and kicking him in the back of the knee as hard as I can.

Edward stumbles but doesn't fall, when he turns around I dodge his punch before aiming one at his jaw. At the last second he turns his head and my blow glances off the side of his head, I quickly back track before he can hit me again. Before I know it my feet have left he warm surface of the mat and I'm now standing on cold concrete. I lower my hands and take a breath.

Before I can move forward someone has come up behind me and pushed me onto the mat. "If you do that again your out!" Eric.

Edward comes at me again and this time instead of ducking from his blows I meet him head on. I'm not sure how long we stand there punching each other but when we finally back up Edwards nose is bleeding and one of his eyes is close to swelling shut. My stomach is turning over on itself and I'm instantly regretting not eating anything for lunch today. We both stand at opposite ends of the mat hands on our knees trying to suck as much air into our lungs as possible.

"Let me take this moment to remind you two," Eric again, forever giving us his unwanted input on everything we do. "These matches cannot end in a draw. One of you needs to end it before I do."

I turn to my left to stare at him and just barely miss Edward charging at me. I side step slowly, he catches my right arm in his hands and flings me to the floor.

Edward is sitting on my stomach, his hands covering his face ready to punch my lights out. He's also sitting on my hands so the only thing I can think to do is rise up and spit blood in his face. He drops his hands and I head-butt him with as much force as I can muster. He'd still conscious but he's rolled off of me and now lays on his side clutching his head. I too roll onto my side and grab at my aching stomach.

My head is spinning and I roll to the edge of the mat before dropping to the concrete floor and releasing what little contents of my stomach remain onto the floor. My vomit is red with blood.

Four is kneeling in front of me, Eric behind me, they both pull me up into a sitting position.

"I'm fine." I tell them. "I need to fight."

"No you don't." Four says pushing me down gently into a chair. "Tris, go get a bucket and a rag!"

"Drew, Peter escort Edward to the infirmary and send a nurse down here." Eric orders from his spot kneeling in front of me.

"She's probably got a concussion, maybe some internal bleeding, we need to wait for a nurse, and we shouldn't move her." Four tells Eric.

"I know that." Eric sneers.

"You should have stopped the fight." Four growls out.

"I KNOW THAT!" Eric screams at Four and my head begins to pound again. Out of the corner of my eye I see Tris coming in with a bucket and a rag in her hands. She hands the bucket to Eric who proceeds to dip the rag and the bucket and wipe the dried blood from my face.

"This is all your fault." She sneers at Eric.

"Tris…" My throat hurts and I'm too tired to really be talking.

"No." She growls out before sending Eric a nasty look.

"Looks like you'll be having company in the kitchens tonight Miss. Cline." Eric growls back shooting Tris a glare.

He goes to wipe the blood from under my nose and I swat his hand away. Or, at least I try, Eric catches my hand in his and holds it down by my side before he continues to wipe at my face. I say nothing when he continues to hold my hand long after.

"I heard you guys needed a nurse." An older looking woman says over Eric's shoulder.

"We didn't want to move her." Four says from his seat beside me, I hadn't notice until then but at some point I had slumped against him, his hand on my shoulder was keeping me from sliding to the floor.

"Smart." The nurse says before pushing Eric out of her way and kneeling in front of me. She waves a pen light in my face before asking me a few questions. Eric now sits on my other side, Tris stands behind us, ready to assault Eric no doubt if he does anything.

"When was the last time you ate sweetie?"

"Last night." I croak. She waves the pen light in front of my eyes while I stare at her fingers in front of me.

"When was the last time you slept?"

"It's been a while…" I tell her.

"Okay sweetie, I need you to take off your shirt I'm going to feel your abdomen."

Dauntless have no shame, I've learned that the past couple of days that I've been there. Eric and Four both pull me up to my feet and after a minute of watching me struggle to pull my shirt up over my head they do it for me. The nurse's hands are cold but they feel so good against my hot skin that I say nothing. She pokes a prods lightly at my stomach before spinning me around and looking at the long scratches on my back.

"These are healing well," she pokes at the tender skin lightly before spinning me back around. "You guys have really dodged a bullet, she doesn't have a concussion but she looks to be severely exhausted and dehydrated and malnourished. Take her to bed make sure she eats something before she sleeps and make sure she eats when she wakes up. No more fighting for today. If she's still in pain tomorrow then I would suggest that she also sit out then too." She gives both Eric and Four a dirty look before kneeling in front of me again. "Do a better job of taking care of your wards next time, boys."

"Everyone back to work." Eric says, standing up. He keeps his hand on my shoulder. "Next fighters in the ring."

"Just make sure she eats some food before you drop her in the dormitory." Four tells him.

"I'm not going to leave her in the dormitory." Eric says, "Give me your keys." Four doesn't ask any questions, he just gives Eric his keys before going back to watch the fights.

"I'm going with you." Tris pipes up from my side.

"Whatever. You stiffs, never wanna part from each other do you." Eric says before bending down to pick me up.

"I can walk!" I tell him, weakly trying to roll out of his arms. "I don't care if you can walk, you are not going to."

I ignore him before turning to Tris, "So, how did I do?" she laughs at me before pushing the door to the hallway open and holding it for Eric.

* * *

**I am really, truly, honestly not sure about how I feel about this chapter. There are parts that I like and parts that I don't like. That being said I'm sorry it took so long for me to update, I had a horrible case of writers block and then I had to go to a funeral! Everything is alright now so, keep moving forward. Please review and let me know what you think, because like I said I am so up in the air about this chapter. The only thing that I love love love about this chapter are the stupid sappy moments where macho asshole Eric is nice. That being said does anyone think that he may be coming off a little OOC? Thanks again to everyone who continues to follow this story.**


	9. Chapter Nine

The Second Day of Every Third Month – Chapter Nine

I'm lying on my bed in the dormitory when Tris comes in. It's been two days since my fight with Edward and I feel truly exhausted.

"Hey Pen, brought you a muffin." Tris tosses the muffin to me and I catch it easily before shoving the entire thing in my mouth. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've aged forty years in two days." I laugh, "How was kitchen duty tonight?"

Eric wasn't kidding when he said we'd be working in the kitchens for our insubordination. Mostly I don't mind the work but today I decided to skip because the exhaustion was too much. Sleep over cooking seemed like a pretty decent priority.

"I'm pretty sure I now know how to make every Dauntless dish ever, no more Abnegation-like food for us." Tris smiles and I'm happy that she's happy. She never smiled in Abnegation, but then again neither did I, it seems transferring to Dauntless was just the change we needed.

"That's awesome." I tell her before rolling over on my side and pulling my blanket up to my chin.

I've only been laying down for a few minutes when the door to the dormitory is slammed open and someone shouts "Everyone up!" Eric stands in the doorway, flashlight in hand, surrounded by Dauntless members. Beside him Four stands with an evil smile on his face.

In the bed next to me Tris seems to have forgotten who is screaming at us because she just continues to lay in her bed. I go to kick her cot but the sound of Eric chastising her stops my foot midair, "Did you go deaf, Stiff?" in the past couple days he has becoming increasingly cruel to us, a few times he's even resorted to hurting us physically with slaps on the back of the head, or painful punches to the shoulder. Luckily I haven't yet found myself under his hand but Tris is looking dangerously close to it.

I kick her cot hard and she finally gets up. "You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us by the tracks," I've already changed my pants and thrown my jacket on over my shoulders, "We're going on another field trip." Dread fills my stomach as I pull my boots on, hopefully this field trip is nothing like the last. Alone time with Eric is the last thing I want.

* * *

Eric had set me down gently on Fours couch before moving into the bathroom to grab some medicine. Tris had left just a minute earlier to get me some food.

"Are you stupid?" Eric asks me from the bathroom.

"What?" I slump back against the couch, too tired to get into it with him.

"I said," he's moved out of the bathroom and is now crouching down in front of me, smearing some sort of balm over the cut on my lip. Nothing he's doing right now feels remotely intimate, its cold and clinical, he doesn't even look me in the eye when he continues, "Are you stupid?"

"No, I'm not," I push his hand away from my face and go to stand up, "I want to leave."

"Clearly you must be," he pushes me back down on the couch. "Why would you head butt someone? Do you know how dangerous it is to do that without proper training, you could have seriously hurt yourself?"

"Since when do you care?" I ask him.

"I am always concerned for the health of future dauntless members," he stands up and makes his way back to the bathroom, "Max has laid his eyes on you, if you don't make it through, if you get hurt and we have to drop you, I won't be able to protect you."

"I don't need your protection." I say more to myself then to him before standing up from the couch.

When Tris comes back with food Eric is still in the bathroom, I quietly usher her out the door and we make our way back to the dormitory.

* * *

Tris has just pulled her shoes on when we begin to sprint down the hallway towards the train tracks. Dauntless members part for us, but other than that they take little notice of us.

When we make it to the tracks we are just behind the Dauntless initiates.

"Are we going to shoot something?" Christina asks, pointing to a pile of guns stacked neatly on a table.

"I hope not," I tell her before reaching out and grabbing one.

There are three different sized guns, on that resembles the ones we used on the first day of training, another about the size of a pistol, the last one resembles the sniper rifle I used the other day. The one I've grabbed is the sniper rifle, Tris and Christina both grab the ones we used on our first day.

"Time estimate?" Eric asks Four.

I sling my rifle over my back before moving to the table with ammunition on it. Instead of regular magazines cartridges with small needles in them are laid out on the table for us to grab.

"Any minute now. How long is it going to take you to memorize the train schedule?" Four asks Eric, looking at his watch.

"Why should I, when I have you to remind me of it?" Eric nudges Four with his shoulder. In the light of the approaching train they look like friends, and that's it, not two men who work tirelessly to change the world we live in.

Once we've all climbed onto the train Four speaks up, "We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of Dauntless-born initiates, and transfers. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same."

Four looks to Eric who is holding a pistol in the air, "Weapon of choice," He says, holding it up for everyone in the car to see.

"You call that a gun?" Molly whispers to Peter loud enough for all of us to hear her.

Eric point his gun at her leg and pulls the trigger, Molly falls to the ground and begins to cry "Neuro-Stim dart," he says pulling it from her leg, "it simulates the pain of a real gunshot wound, but it only lasts for a couple minutes."

The car sways from side to side and Four steps forward again, "This is a Dauntless tradition, so I suggest you take it seriously."

"What do we get if we win?" Someone shouts from the back of the train.

"Sounds like the kind of question someone not from Dauntless would ask," Four says, raising an eyebrow. "You get to win, of course."

"Four and I will be your team captains," says Eric. He looks at Four. "Let's divide up transfers first shall we."

I look to Tris and Christina hoping that we'll all be on the same team but knowing that's probably not going to happen.

"You go first," says Four, leaning against the wall.

Eric shrugs his shoulders before his eyes land on me, "Penelope."

I grind my teeth but step forward to go stand with him, just my luck.

Four says nothing for a minute before crossing his arms over his chest, "I want the other Stiff."

The train car erupts in laughter, Tris' cheeks turn read and I attempt to suppress a growl from escaping my throat. I move forward to say something but Eric's hand reaches out and grabs the strap the holds my gun to my back, he yanks me back towards him before speaking up, "Got something to prove?" he asks, "Or are you just picking the weak ones so that if you lose, you'll have someone to blame it on?"

Four shrugs. "Something like that."

Eric picks Edward who comes over to stand beside me. His black eye has faded and his face is no longer swollen, still we say nothing to each other.

"Christina." Four's team.

"Peter." Is Eric trying to piss me off? Surrounding me with people that absolutely hate my guts.

"Will." Four says while biting at his thumbnail. His team doesn't look so good. Eric's been picking from the top of our initiate class and Four from the bottom, is he really trying to stack his team so he has someone to blame when he loses?

"Al."

Four picks Drew and Eric picks Molly which leaves Four's team with Myra, which I'm thankful for because I have no clue how she would react to being on the same team as me.

Eric and Four fly through the Dauntless-born initiates and I'm surrounded by people I don't know and people that hate me, being led by the biggest ass arguably in all of Chicago.

"Your team can get off second," the ass says.

"Don't do me any favors," Four smiles, "You know I don't need them to win." So Four's won before.

"No, I know you'll lose no matter when you get off," says Eric, "Take your scrawny team and get off first, then."

While Four's team makes their way off the train I slide up over to Al and decide that he will be my buddy for this horrible field trip.

"This is going to suck," I say propping my elbow up against the wall.

"No doubt." Says Al.

"Let's just try not to get shot, okay?" laughing I put my hand out for him to shake.

"Deal. Do you think it hurts?" he asks me.

"I don't know, probably a lot, but maybe not as much as Molly made it look? I'm not sure, we'll probably find out tonight though."

"Yeah," he laughs nervously, "I'm not looking forward to that."

"Me neither," I tell him before standing up straight again, were getting ready to jump off the train.

"Land on your feet." Eric orders me, he, Al, and I are the last ones on the train.

"Whatever." I say to him before grabbing Wills hand and launching myself out the open door.

I don't land on my feet, and neither does Will, we both land in the grass on our knees.

Before I can pull myself up off the ground Eric is there yanking me forward. "Next time I tell you to do something, initiate, you do it, understood?" he releases my arm and shoves me forward again.

He doesn't wait for my response before storming off and ordering us to follow him. Will comes by and pulls me back up off my knees.

"What was that?" he asks.

I shake my head, "I have no clue."

Eric leads us inside of a dilapidated building. "Okay, what next?" he asks us.

"What do you mean what next? You're our instructor." A Dauntless-born asks from the back of the room.

"This is all on you guys, I'm just here to assist. Talk amongst yourselves, figure out what you want to do." He says leaning against a counter.

"We need to find a good spot to hide the flag." Peter says next to me.

"No shit." I murmur under my breath.

"I'm sorry what was that Stiff?" He says bumping his shoulder into mine.

I go to swing at him but Al is pulling me back against his chest.

"Call me Stiff one more time Peter! Do it!" I pull out of Al's grasp and move towards Peter. He's maybe a foot taller than me, standing toe to toe with him I have to crane my neck back just to look him in the eye but still I stare him down. I'm done with being treated like shit by everyone here, I belong here just as much as they do. "Say it one more time!" I poke him in the chest and he pulls his arm back ready to swing at me, but before he can do so Eric is pushing us apart and is holding Peters fist in one hand in a vice like grip while he grabs my wrist and twists it behind my back, pushing me into the wall.

"Are you two children done?" He asks, squeezing Peter's fist in his hand and pushing me into the wall with more force. "Good, because I want to win, and in order to win we have to work together as a team, understood?" His voice is full of malice, we all nod our heads silently. When he releases us both he moves to the back of the room and we stand in silence for a moment.

"This is what we're going to do," another Dauntless-born speaks up. This one is almost as tall as Eric with dark black hair and tanned skin, his body is covered in tattoos. "That museum across the street with the bell tower, that's where the flag is going to go. You," he says pointing at me, "you're on guard up there, you've got the rifle so just pluck off any of the other team you see approaching the building and shoot anyone that comes in that tower. Half of us will stay behind and defend the building while the other half go and get the other flag. We let them come to us and we hit them hard and fast, let's finish this real quick."

Everyone seems to agree with him and we all follow him to the bell tower building. We're standing at the base of the tower Eric pulls the flag out of his pack, its bright neon green. We both climb the stairs together, when we're standing out in the open on the top of the building Eric hangs the flag up from the hook where the bell used to reside.

"Don't let anyone through, okay?" He says, before going to climb down the hole.

"Wait!" I tell him pointing out to the horizon where a giant illuminated circle is, "What's that?"

"The Ferris wheel? Is he stupid, he's just given away his position?" Eric rubs his chin for a second before pulling on his piercing. "Stay here, shoot anyone that's not on our team." He orders before closing the hatch in the floor and running downstairs.

I scan the horizon and look for anyone approaching us, after ten minutes of seeing nothing I decide that maybe Four has decided to have his team wait us out, maybe if nothing happens for a while Eric will have us move out in full force to go get the other teams flag.

Suddenly downstairs erupts in screams. I scan the area again but I see nothing,

_There coming at us from behind._

"We're fucked." I tell myself, sliding down against the wall and aiming my gun at the hatch in the floor, the only way to get in to the bell tower.

I pull the butt of the rifle into my shoulder and wait, any minute now someone will open that hatch and I'll have to shoot them. It feels like hours but I know it's only been minutes, the hatch creeps open an inch or two and I can see Tris' head popping out of the hole. Quickly I move forward and slam my foot down on the hatch. I don't want to shoot her but I also don't want to lose.

I'm standing directly on top of the hatch now and I can feel Tris' trying to push it open but I weigh too much.

"Move Penelope!" She screams slamming into the hatch, I stumble forward, not prepared for that amount of force and that's all she needs.

Quickly she climbs out of the hole, her gun trained on me, Christina follows her. _I'm fucked._

"Shoot me!" I tell them.

"What? I'm not going to shoot you." Tris says, swinging the gun over her back.

"Christina do it!" I tell her, throwing my rifle down on the ground.

Christina needs little encouragement and next thing I know there are two darts sticking out of my chest.

"Fuck!" I scream, my chest feels like it's on fire, like someone's stuck burning hot coals inside of me.

Tris moves forward to comfort me but I wave her off and roll up into a ball in the corner of the room. "Go," I tell her before letting out a blood curdling scream.

It feels like I've been on the floor for hours when Al and Eric find me. They roll me onto my back and Eric pulls the darts out of my chest. "Grab the gun," he tells Al before pulling me up on my feet. "Can you walk?" he asks.

I nod my head, tears streaming down my face.

Al gently places my gun back over my shoulders before looking me in the eye, "Hurts like hell don't it?" He asks while pulling up his shirt to show me the dried up blood on his abdomen where he had been shot.

Eric helps me down the ladder and Al follows behind us, when were out of the museum with the rest of the initiates Eric moves to go stand with Four while Al and I go to find our friends.

Christina and Will are running ahead of us, Christina holds the flag high above her head screaming in victory.

"We were on the wrong team." Al states dejectedly at my side.

"There's always next year." I tell him, patting his shoulder.

He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes, he's thinking the same thing we all do every waking day we have here in Dauntless: None of us are safe. Not yet.

* * *

**Sorry it took so long to update. Review and let me know what you think. Much love to you all!**


	10. Chapter Ten

The Second Day of Every Third Month – Chapter Ten

The next morning walking into the training room, rubbing sleep from our eyes and yawning, we are met with targets and a table full of knifes.

"More target practice?" I ask Tris who simply shrugs her shoulders while suppressing a yawn.

At the opposite end of the room Eric stands rigidly. His feet and shoulders are squared up, his arms cross behind his back, every muscle in his body seems to be pulled taunt. His presence silences us all immediately, if he's in a bad mood then there is no doubt in my mind he will project his feelings onto all of us.

Deep inside though I know that he isn't just in a bad mood, looking to Four who is mirroring Eric's stance I know that there is something up with them, something that has to deal with their resistance. For a second I wish that I was in on their secret, that I could help them carry this burden, but then Eric opens his mouth:

"Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one, you will resume fighting then. Today, you'll be learning how to aim. Everyone pick up three knives." The normally agitated tone in his voice seems to have transformed into a tone of complete anger over night, I really want to know what happened, but if today is the last day of stage one then I can't afford to be distracted. "Pay attention while Four demonstrates the correct technique for throwing them."

When nobody moves right away he raises an eyebrow before raising his voice, "Now!"

We all run for the table where the daggers are laid out before circling around Four to watch him throw the knives. Four too looks exhausted but he's better at hiding it. He throws three knives before dismissing us to our targets.

Next to me Tris is a natural, every knife she throws sticks to her target. Her stance is perfect as far as I can tell, on my other side Al is struggling to even get his knife anywhere near the target, if he doesn't shape up he will be cut.

Thinking about the faction system makes me angry, since when do you cut initiates? The more people they cut the more factionless will be, eventually we'll run out of jobs for the factionless, and then what? What do we do when there are too many people that need help and not enough people to help them?

I throw my knife up in the air twice catching it in the palm of my hand before bring my hand back behind my head quickly and then throwing the knife at the target. By some miracle the knife embeds itself in the target.

_I do better when I'm angry. _Earlier throws had all hit the target but none of them had stuck.

Next to me Al throws his knife again and misses, Eric seems to have zeroed in on Al's inability to throw the knives correctly and storms our way, "How slow are you, Candor? Do you need glasses? Should I move the target closer to you?"

I try to ignore him, I bite my tongue and continue to throw my knives all three of them sink into the board in quick succession.

"Even the Stiff's are doing better than you." He sneers in Al's ear.

I can taste blood in my mouth but I say nothing. Al's face is red and he grips the knife in his hand awkwardly before throwing in the direction of the target. It misses and clatters to the floor.

"Go get it." He orders.

We've all stopped throwing now, we stand with bated breath waiting to see what will happen, what he'll do to Al.

"Did I tell you to stop?" Eric turns on us his voice eerily calm.

Eric and Al continue to argue with each other while we all pick up our knives again. Next to me Tris looks agitated.

"Don't," I tell her. "We can't do anything."

That's a lie, we can stop Eric, but at what cost? We cannot afford to be on his bad side this close to the end of stage one.

"Everyone stop!" Eric orders beside me, I along with everyone else in the room drop our daggers to the floor. "Clear out of the ring, all except you." He point a thick finger at Al.

We do as he says and back up along the wall, watching as Eric directs Al to stand in front of the target. Eric waves Four over before moving back and telling Al, "You're going to stand here while he throws knives at you until you learn not to flinch."

Four brings his arm back behind his head, ready to release the knife when Tris speaks up next to me. "Stop it." She begins to move forward but I grab her hand, pulling her back towards me. "Any idiot can stand in front of a target," she pulls my hand out of hers and moves forward, reluctantly I follow her.

"You're being a coward, Eric. Stop being such a bully to everyone here just because you can." I say moving to stand with her, officially sealing our fate.

"I knew you Stiffs would be trouble," He says while pulling his jacket off and picking three knives up off the floor. "Both of you take his place. If either of you flinches not only will you prove that your cowards, but everyone else in this room will have to stand in front of the targets as well."

Tris and I move forward taking Al's spot, she stands in front of Four, leaving me Eric. My palms are sweating uncontrollably, who knows how good or bad Eric is at throwing knives.

Four goes first, fixing Tris with a hard glare before bring his arm back and throwing the knife, it embeds itself six inches from Tris' face, she closes her eyes and lets out a sigh of relief. "You done yet, Stiff?" He asks her.

"No." she says straightening up in her spot.

"Then open your eyes." Four taunts her, next to me Tris glares Four down, refusing to even blink.

It's my turn now. I pull my hands behind my back and fidget with my fingers, yanking on the one by one. Eric looks determined in his stance, every muscle in his body is flexed, he breathes in through his nose quickly before releasing the knife.

The entire room gasps and I look to where the knife had imbedded itself on the inside of my left thigh, six inches above my knee. There is a small trickle of blood coming out of my leg.

I move to pull it out, "Leave it, Cline." Eric says raising an eyebrow, challenging me to disobey him. I swallow thickly before wiping the sweat off the palms of my hands and turning to Tris. It's her turn.

"What do you think, Eric," For starts pointing his knife at Tris' head, "Should I take a little off the top?"

"She could use a haircut." Eric's laugh is forced, but it still sends shivers through my body.

That's all Four needs to hear before he's launching the knife through the air. Tris doesn't move at all, doesn't flinch, and doesn't make a sound. The knife is two inches above her head, were she to rise up on her toes she could bump into it with the top of her head.

I close my eyes one last time before looking at Eric. I drop my hands at my sides and refuse to blink.

"Put your hands out." Eric says, a devious smile on his face.

I do as he says and next thing I know there is a knife imbedded in the wood under my right arm. He hasn't cut me this time, but a hair higher and I'd be bleeding.

"Come on Stiffs, let the other initiates give it a go," Four taunts us, scratching his eyebrow with the knife.

"Shut up, Four!" Tris screams next to me.

Four and Eric share a look before turning to us and throwing their knives at the same time. As soon as Eric's knife leaves his hand I know I'm going to get hit, but it's already too late, I stay still and watch as the knife flies toward me and slices into the skin above my hip.

Next to me Tris has gasped, and when she pulls her hand away from her ear I see the blood on her hand.

"That's enough for today," Eric says moving towards me. "Everyone leave." He gives Four a look, who then moves forward to pull Tris out of the room.

"Don't touch me." I whisper to him when he moves his hands to grab the knife by my hip.

"I had to." He pulls the knife out from underneath my arm.

"You didn't have to do anything!" I try and push him away but it's useless, he's too strong and I'm too weak.

"Yes," He holds me down with a hand on my hip before pulling out the knife in between my legs. If it had been anyone else I might have felt something with his hands on me in such an intimate way, but it's Eric so instead I just want to punch him. Punch him for all the cruel things he's done to us, for the mean way he treats us, I don't care if he's trying to change the Dauntless faction, he's so horrible it's infuriating.

His hand is on the last knife but he pauses before pulling it out, "I'm working with Max and Jeanine," he whispers in my ear, "they're up to something and I'm trying to figure it out but all they want me to do is hunt down divergent children." He leans into me more, his forehead resting against my shoulder. _Why is he telling me this?_

The contact between us is so intimate it repulses me but instead of pushing him away I cover his hand on my hip with my own, our fingers lacing together in an awkward manner. I cover his other hand that's on the knife by my thigh with my own hand too and pull it out. He drops the knife to the floor but doesn't let go of my hand.

"Four and I have been up for the past two days trying to figure out what to do, but…" he pauses before standing up straight and drops my hand, slamming his fist into the wooden target to the left of my head. I tremble slightly where I stand but he takes no notice and continues speaking. "I don't know when, but soon they're going to do something. Erudite come here every day offloading trucks and setting up computers."

Eric backs up away from me before turning on his heal and walking towards the door, "Don't forget kitchen duty tonight, Cline."

* * *

Tris and I are working in the kitchens that night when she asks me about Eric, "Did he hurt you?"

I laugh while scrubbing at the dirty pots and pans in the sink, "No, he just… I think he was just frustrated."

"With what?" she asks.

"I don't know, Tris!" I scream at her, throwing my hands up in the air, soap flies up and covers us where we stand. Immediately I regret raising my voice to her, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled."

"No I get it, the past couple days have been tough."

"Eric's just always been so weird around me. Sometimes I think he cares about me, but then it's Eric, and he cares about nothing but himself. And, I just don't know. I feel like the whole knife throwing thing with him and Four was them trying to tell us to be careful? Maybe to watch our backs?"

Tris gives me a strange look before going back to her dishes.

"What did Four say to you?" I ask her, hoping to get the conversation away from Eric and whatever is going on with him and me.

"I called him sadistic, and then he told me he was just protecting me." Tris looks over her shoulder, checking to make sure we are alone in this part of the kitchen, I scoot closer to her, "He said that the Dauntless leaders are always watching so sometimes he has to be a little cruel to the initiates." she whispers.

I know that Eric and Four were just doing the whole knife throwing thing for looks, because they had told me before about how Dauntless has eyes and ears everywhere. I wish I could tell Tris, about Divergents and about the supposed revolution, but it isn't my place to tell her. _Maybe I can talk to Four?_

"So, tomorrow?" I continue to scrub at the pots in the sink while Tris dries them off, "Are you ready?" I ask.

Tris releases a breath before turning to me with a shaky smile on her face, "I'm a little scared." She laughs.

"That's good, if you're scared then you will be more alert, more focused." I pull the plug from the sink and all of the water falls down the drain.

"Oh yeah? Who told you that?"

"Nobody, I just… Every time I have to fight someone I get nervous, it doesn't matter if I'm better than them or not, fighting just sets me on edge and it almost like opens my eyes just a little wider and I become more observant." We both wipe our hands off before making our way out of the kitchen and dining hall.

"I'll remember that."

We walk through the Pit in silence for a while before passing some clothing stores.

"Hey do you wanna get some new clothes? I don't know about you but my pants are starting to get a little tight. Lately all I've been wearing are sweats and shorts." I look down to my legs which are bare except for the ridiculously short shorts they gave to us when we first came to Dauntless.

"It's so weird," Tris says, following me into the store, "having muscle."

We laugh and joke with each other while walking through the store and picking out some pants and shorts, after a while we've found are way to the less casual end of the store and Tris and I both agree to pick out one outfit, which we will wear when we become Dauntless members, whenever that is.

Tris beelines straight for the dresses while I amble around. After about ten minutes I've a black skirt to go with the black top Christina picked out for me, Tris grabbed a pretty lace dress.

"You know what I could go for right now?" I ask her once we've checked out.

Tris looks me in the eye and I can't help but to smile, the giddy thoughts running through my head cannot be suppressed.

"I can't stop you," she says when we walk into the tattoo shop.

"Penelope!" Riley greets me from the front desk. "Who's your friend?"

"Riley this is Tris, Tris meet Riley." They awkwardly shake hands before Riley pulls us off to the side of the shop to look at some art work.

"So what can I do you gals today?" he asks.

"I want to get a tattoo!" I tell him and we all chuckle lightly.

"Hm," he hums tapping his hand on his chin, "What about this one?" He points to piece that is a tangle of flowers and vines. I shake my head.

And it continues on like that, with us walking down the walls of the shop with Riley pointing out various pieces (mostly flowers and animals, with the occasional flames and skulls thrown in), it isn't until we're almost to the back of the shop that I see something I like.

It is a geometric maze that is designed to flow from the top of your hand over your entire arm onto your shoulder blade. Squiggly lines cross over top of the maze in parts and wrap themselves around the arm, by far my favorite part is the Dauntless symbol which is designed to sit just above the breast and below the top of the shoulder.

"Can you do that?" I ask Riley pointing to the design which sits high up on the wall.

"Yeah, not traditionally, though." He says grabbing the design and taking us to the back room.

"For bigger pieces like this one, and some smaller more generic stuff we use these things called laser pads." Riley pulls a blue sleeve out of a cabinet and begins to slide it up my arm and under the straps of my tank top. The inside of the sleeve is squishy and sticky. Riley pulls on the sleeve stretching it our so it incases my entire left shoulder and the top of my left breast. Next he pulls up a screen on the computer next to the chair I'm sitting in.

"I'm going to turn the sleeve on." He clicks on the screen and the blue sleeve begins to glow. "It's going to tighten up on your arm but it shouldn't hurt. So, the way this works is it basically takes a mold of your arm and I upload the design you want and the computer lays it over top of a digital mold of your arm and from their I can adjust it if need be. Then when everything looks good the laser inside the sleeve inks the design onto your arm. I prefer the traditional method but this is faster, it insures I make no mistakes, and it heals instantly."

"That's actually really cool." I tell Riley, poking at the sleeve.

"Hold her hand." He says to Tris.

Before I can ask Riley if it's going to hurt he has finished up the design on the computer and clicks a bright green but labeled 'GO!'

To say it hurts is an understatement. The sleeve turns from blue to red in one second and it feels like my whole arm has been soaked in gasoline before being lit on fire. I hold Tris' hand in a vice like grip and I can see her trying not to flinch. As soon as it's begun it is over. Riley rolls the sleeve off of my arm and beneath it is a maze of geometric black lines crisscrossing over top of each other before winding their way into the Dauntless flame.

After paying Riley Tris and I make our way back to the dormitory where everyone else is already asleep. Tomorrow is a day of days. Tomorrow we seal our fate.

* * *

**Hey all! Once again I just want to say thank you or taking the time to read my story it just really, truly means a lot for me. So if you want to review feel free to let me know what you think of the story, ask questions if you wanna and I'll do my best to answer them. I love you all, have a good day!**


	11. Chapter Eleven

The Second Day of Every Third Month – Chapter Eleven

When I wake up the last morning of Stage One my fellow initiates are still asleep. I quietly creep into the bathroom and take a shower, relishing in the solitude that is rarely afforded in a room shared by ten people. When I'm getting out of the shower a couple people have started to roll around in their beds and Tris is standing up in front of the mirror in between are beds, poking at the muscle that now covers her body.

"It's cool right?" I ask her while pulling on a pair of tight pants that cut off just below my knee.

Tris nods her head and smiled before making her way to the showers.

While Tris is in the shower I shake Christina awake and we both get ready in minutes. We're waiting on my bed when Peter, Molly, and Drew come up to us.

"Didn't realize you were so skinny, Stiff." Peter says, pointing to my flat stomach.

It's true, Tris and I are probably the skinniest people here, but over the past couple days we've definitely gotten bigger. Over Peter's shoulder I see Tris walk out of the bathroom.

"Fuck off," I say, pushing him out of my way.

"Get away from her." Tris says from the bathroom door. Christina is now standing beside me.

"This isn't the Hub, I don't have to listen to the orders of a bunch of Stiff's." Peter looks down at me, scrutinizing every bone the pokes out from my body, my ribs, my hips, my shoulders. Then he turns to Tris and does the same, before he can say anything else Christina comes up from behind me and pushes Peter out of the way.

The three of us walk across the Pit to the dining hall where we meet up with Will and Al. This morning, just like every other morning, they are serving muffins.

"Are you guys ready for today?" Will asks us, scooting over on the bench to make room for Christina to sit with him. I sit next to Al, with Tris on my other side.

"I am truly jealous of whoever gets to fight Peter today." I say biting into my muffin, "If by some miracle it is me, they'll have to pull me off his dead body."

"I second that." Tris says next to me.

The rest of breakfast carries on in silence, we don't speak again until we're standing in the training room waiting for Eric and Four to reveal the matches for today.

Four pulls the board from behind his back and hangs it on the wall, it reads:

Will v. Myra

Christina v. Al

Peter v. Penelope

Edward v. Drew

Tris v. Molly

It's hard to keep the smile off of my face, not even the fact that Peter's bigger than me and stronger than me can put me down. I share a smile with Tris before we move to go sit down against the wall and watch Will fight Myra.

"You have to beat him." She says once we've settled against the hard wall.

"But how?" I ask her.

"Let him tire out." Christina says on the other side of Tris.

"Yeah, let him tire out then beat the crap out of him!" Tris slams her fist into the palm of her hand and I can't help but to laugh.

Will's fight is over quickly, Myra is no match for him. Christina and Al are up next and I know it won't be long, Al will want to finish quickly, letting Christina knock him down and then he'll stay down.

"Good luck," Tris pats my shoulder, she is probably the only person that I don't mind touching me asides from my parents, "you've got this."

Peter and I stand opposite from each other on the mat. Peter cracks his knuckles, then his neck, before stretching his arms out in front of him. I jump from side to side on my toes while shaking my hands out.

Eric lets out a noncommittal grunt, letting us know we can begin. Peter steps his left and I do the same, we circle for a moment before stepping in and meeting each other. Peter throws a punch at my head but I quickly dodge it and sidestep out of his reach. I take a quick second to catch my breath before charging at him, I aim a punch for his throat but he blocks it and grabs hold of my arm.

Using my other hand I try to push him off balance but I am to slow and he catches my hand. Peter now holds both of my arms and I can see the gears turning in his head before he yanks my arms downwards, bringing me to my knees, and slams his knee into my face. The crunch of my nose breaking accompanied by the feeling of blood dripping off my chin wakes me up.

Peter backs up to catch his breath, he is already winded. Without wasting any time I rise back up onto my feet and charge at him, knocking us off the mat and onto the hard concrete floor. At the last second Peter tucks his head in, preventing it from slamming onto the ground. I slide up his body so I'm sitting on his chest with his arms locked under my thighs, I can only get in a few good punches before he bucks his hips skywards and throws me off. He rolls over onto his side before stepping back onto the mat.

My broken nose is making it hard for me to breathe, so before I step back onto the map I quickly place my hands on both sides of my nose and push the broken cartilage back into place, a fresh wave of blood comes pouring down my face, and it hurts to breath, but my lungs are no longer burning. Look on Peter's face makes the pain totally worth it.

"Come on you skinny little Stiff, quit now and maybe the factionless will take you. You already look like them. Emaciated. Dirty. Disgusting." Peter growls, cracking his neck again.

"I'll kill you." I step back onto the mat, mimicking Peter by cracking my neck.

"I'd like to see you try," he comes forward, aiming a punch for my nose but I drop to my knees and kick his legs out from underneath him before he can make contact.

I back up while Peter rolls over onto his side and catches his breath. It's taking him longer and longer to do so.

This time when Peter stands I don't wait for him to come at me, instead I rush him and punch him in the throat. He drops down to his knees and I push him down onto his stomach with my foot to his back. Before he can roll away from me I've already kicked him three times in the stomach.

I stop for a moment and back out of Peter's reach just in case he tries to do anything. "You can quit at any time." I tell him.

Peter says nothing, just spits blood out of his mouth before pulling himself back up onto his feet and cracking his neck again.

He's slower now, he comes towards me bent over and favoring his left side, on his right foot he supports himself with just his toes, he must have hurt his ankle.

_How can I exploit that? _

I think of all the holds Four has shown us over the past couple days.

I push Peter backwards and this time he falls on to his back with a loud bang that resonates throughout the room, quickly I drop down and get his right leg in a leg lock, hyperextending his ankle. We lay like that for a minute and I can feel the bones in his ankle beginning to give, I apply more pressure, leaning back into the mat and pulling his foot with me, Peter claws at my legs his face is as red as the blood that slowly dribbles down his chin.

"I'll break it!" I scream at Peter, a look of panic flashes through his eyes before he begins to claw at my leg with a renewed furry.

I get a firm hold on Peter's foot and yank it sideways, the whole room goes silent and the sound of his bones cracking seems to echo throughout the room.

"That's it!" Four says, stepping forward and pulling me off of Peter.

Drew steps forward and pulls Peter off of the ground. "Take him to the infirmary." Four orders. "You too." He says looking at me.

"I'm fine." I brush and invisible layer of dust from my shoulders before wiping the dried up blood off of my face. "Just go wash the blood off your face, your look ridiculous." He whispers in my ear while dragging me to the door.

The restroom is just down the hall from the training room, I've only been in there for a minute when the door swings open. Only initiates use this room so I assume it's either Tris of Christina checking up on me. When I look up in the mirror I'm shocked to see Eric leaning against the door.

"You did well today." He says pushing off the door with his foot and coming to stand behind me.

"What do you want Eric?" I sneer, avoiding his eyes. His eyes are a cool blue that on anyone else might be attractive, but on Eric the color only seems to magnify the waves of hate and anger that flow from him.

He grabs me by the shoulder and pushes me back into the wall, the soap dispenser digs into my lower back. "Is that any way to talk to your superior?"

"You are not my superior." I try to push back against him, but Eric stands his ground. Beneath his hand my skin burns with the unwanted contact.

For a while we say nothing, Eric keeps his hand pressed against my shoulder while his other is balled up into a fist resting against the wall right next to my head. I look anywhere but his face, I trace the tattoos on his neck with my eyes, then the ones on his forearms and after that I look over his shoulder and pray that whatever it is he's trying to do right now, whatever he's trying to tell me, that it's almost over.

"You were brutal out there today." He finally let's go of my shoulder and backs up.

"Is that a compliment?" Eric never compliments anyone ever, this has to be a first for him, I wish everyone else were here to see it.

"No." he crosses his arms over his chest, "It was disgusting watching you fight Peter, your cold and calculating, you don't think about if there is an easier way to end it you just take the most direct route, whichever way puts him in the most pain, that's how you fight people. It isn't about winning with you, is it? You just like seeing other people in pain."

"Are you serious right now?" I step forward pushing Eric into the wall and jamming my finger into his chest. "You are the cruelest person I know, you should be happy I'm just like you!" I scream jabbing him in the chest one last time.

Eric catches my hand before I can hit him again, "I don't want you to be like me," he whispers, "Everything that's going on right now, in the faction, is because people like me are in charge. I don't want you to be cruel, I need you to be kind, humane, and righteous." Eric turns to walk out of the door, but not before handing me a sheet of paper. "Here. Read this, I know you've seen it before, but you might have forgotten what it really is to be Dauntless." I take the paper from his hand and for a split second before he turns back out the door something changes.

Sure Eric is a cruel as they come, but something that sets him apart from the other Dauntless leaders is his want for change. He's looked at the entire faction and decided that he doesn't like what they've become and he wants to change that despite his own flaws. And maybe that's the only reason why he and Four are friends because in reality there couldn't be two people more opposite. But they've both seen what's wrong with this world and they've put themselves on the line to change it.

* * *

**This chapter is a little bit shorter then they usually are, but that's just how it had to be. I really want to thank everyone that has been reviewing lately, you've all been so nice and it really means the world to. As stage one finishes up I will be stepping into more AU territory, you guys will be seeing a lot more of Eric and Four with the resistance. I've been playing with the idea of doing a chapter from Eric's point of view, kinda just like a day in the life, but if you guys want that I think I'll end up posting it as a one shot. What do you think? Please review and let me know. Once again thanks to everyone that's been favoriting/following! It means the world to me. Much Love!**


	12. Chapter Twelve

The Second Day of Every Third Month – Chapter Twelve

DAUNTLESS: THE BRAVE  
Faction Manifesto

WE BELIEVE  
that cowardice is to blame for the world's injustices.

WE BELIEVE  
that peace is hard-won, that sometimes it is necessary to fight for peace. But more than that:

WE BELIEVE  
that justice is more important than peace.

WE BELIEVE  
in freedom from fear, in denying fear the power to influence our decisions.

WE BELIEVE  
in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

WE BELIEVE  
in acknowledging fear and the extent in which it rules us.

WE BELIEVE  
in facing that fear no matter what the cost to our comfort, our happiness, or even our sanity.

WE BELIEVE  
in shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who cannot defend themselves.

WE BELIEVE  
not just in bold words but in bold deeds to match them.

WE BELIEVE  
that pain and death are better than cowardice and inaction, because

WE BELIEVE  
in action.

WE DO NOT BELIEVE  
in living comfortable lives.

WE DO NOT BELIEVE  
that silence is useful.

WE DO NOT BELIEVE  
in good manners.

WE DO NOT BELIEVE  
in limiting the fullness of life.

WE DO NOT BELIEVE  
in empty heads, empty mouths, or empty hands.

WE DO NOT BELIEVE  
that learning to master violence encourages unnecessary violence.

WE DO NOT BELIEVE  
that we should be allowed to stand idly by.

WE DO NOT BELIEVE  
that any other virtue is more important that bravery.

* * *

I'm still standing in the bathroom an hour later when Tris and Christina find me. As soon as I hear the door open I push the manifesto into my back pocket.

"We've been looking for you, are you alright?" Tris asks coming into the bathroom. Her eyes are critical on my face, examining every cut and bruise that mares my skin.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I tell them, pushing us out of the bathroom. "I just lost track of time."

"Well come on, it's time for dinner!" Christina yanks me along by my arm, her grip is light but my muscles are so sore it takes everything I have not to scream out in pain at this very moment.

The walk across the Pit is slow, I drag behind Tris and Christina but they don't complain, they just slow down and match my pace. I can hear the roar of the dining hall when we are just halfway there. When we enter I spot Four sitting with his friends instantly.

"I'm not really hungry," I tell Christina and Tris, "I'll catch up with you guys later, okay?"

Tris and Christina exchange confused looks but say nothing more before going to sit at our usual table. I turn in the other direction, towards Four's table, and tap him on the shoulder, "I need to speak with you."

He looks annoyed but doesn't say anything before following me out into the hall.

"What's wrong Penelope?"

"It's Eric," I hand him the manifesto, "after my fight he met me in the bathroom and gave me this and told me all of this stuff about how he wants me to be brave and righteous. Do you know what's going on with him? Is everything with the…" I look down both ends of the hallway, we are alone, but still I lean into him and whisper the next part, "…resistance going alright?"

Four grabs me by the elbow and pulls me down a series of hallways until were standing in what I know to be his apartment.

"All I know is that he's in deep with Jeanine and Max and they're planning something. He thinks he's being monitored by them so we haven't spoken about _'it' _we just pass notes back and forth whenever we can." Four scratches at the stubble on his jaw, "What did he say to you exactly?" he asks.

"He called me cruel, said I like to see people in pain. That he didn't want me to be like him, he said I should try to be kind, humane, and righteous. Then he gave me the manifesto and said that maybe I had forgotten what being Dauntless was really about." I tell Four, who continues to scratch at his jaw while passing the length of the room.

"Four, thinking about it now, it almost kind of feels like a goodbye." Four stops scratching his head and gives me a questioning look, "You don't think he's going to do something, do you?" I ask.

Four doesn't answer me, instead he sprints out of his apartment and I immediately follow after him. Four is fast, faster than all of the initiates, and had this been my first day there would be no way I could keep up with him, but it isn't my first day. I keep a steady pace behind him. When rounding a corner Four stops abruptly and I would have bumped into him if I'd been trailing any closer. Four peeks out around the corner before turning to me.

"It's Jeanine and Max, they're walking with Eric this way."

Shit. "We need to hide." I begin to look around frantically while Four pulls a key from his pocket and opens a door, he drags me into the room before locking the door. He doesn't stop there though, were standing in a living room but only for a moment before he pulls me into a bedroom and then into the closet of the bedroom. He pushes me down into the back corner and slides clothes in front of me.

I can just barely see Four standing in the bedroom, hidden from whomever may walk into the apartment.

The door opens and closes, I hear two sets of footsteps.

"The date is set." Max.

"The last day of initiation," Eric says, I can hear his muffled footsteps as he moves about the apartment. "Pour yourself a drink," he tells Max, I can hear him walking towards the bedroom, I hope Four has hidden himself. "I'm going to change out of this monkey suit." Eric gives a dark chuckle, I can see him now, he's walked through the bedroom and is now standing in the closet.

He's wearing an all-black suit with a black tie. He pulls the jacket off, then the tie, and the shirt to reveal a black tank top. He toes his shoes off and when I see him pull the belt out of his pants and pulling the zipper down I can't help but to suck air in through my teeth and squeeze my eyes shut. He's moving again, moving towards me, I can feel the clothes that were in front of me getting pushed to the side but still I keep my eyes closed.

I feel his fingers on my chin and slowly I open my eyes. He looks pissed, but he says nothing. My hand latches onto his wrist and I cant keep my eyes off his other hand, the one wrapped around the pistol on his hip. He just turns around and pulls out a pair of sweatpants. Quickly he changes into them and I avert my eyes. I think he's about to leave but instead he comes back towards me and whispers in my ear, "Stay here." He's left the pistol in the closet.

He's gone and I hear his footsteps trailing back to the living room. I can hear the groan of his couch as he sits down, and the clink of a glass being set down.

"I'm really proud of you, son." Max again, "For a while there, I didn't think you had it in you. I thought you were going to be wasted talent, just like Four."

"Please," says Eric, "I know what's best for our people. Four is just a simple minded Abnegation parading as Dauntless, he would never be able to lead." I know he's lying but the words sound so cruel in my ears.

Footsteps come from the living room again, there moving. "I've got a meeting to attend, but we'll talk tomorrow, it's Visiting Day and I want you to monitor all the transfers that see their parents."

I hear the clap of their hands meeting and then the door closes and I stand up from my hiding spot. In a second Eric is standing before me, Four is standing over his shoulder.

"Are you stupid?" He asks me.

I'm smart enough to know not to answer that question.

"What are you two doing in here? If Max had seen you, if you had been caught, you would be killed for what you heard."

"What's going on?" Four asks Eric, stepping forward so he's standing between Eric and me, "What suicidal plan have you cooked up for yourself?"

Eric doesn't say anything, just fixes Four with an angry glare before turning around and moving out of the closet and back to the living room.

"We are a team Eric, we work together! The only way to get through this is together, you know that." Four pushes Eric onto the couch and grabs him a bottle of water.

"Yeah, we're a team!" I chime in, the comedic relief is not wanted.

"You need to stay out of this!" Eric shouts, throwing the now empty bottle at the wall behind me. "What were you thinking dragging her here with you?" He turns on Four.

Four says nothing, just crosses his arms over his chest, and though he doesn't say anything I know he's asking for an explanation.

"The day after initiation is over, they are planning to march on Abnegation," Eric tells Four, "We need to figure out how to stop them, and I need you to keep eyes on the loading docks. From what I understand Jeanine has been working on some sort of serum that she could use to control the entire Dauntless faction."

"What are we going to do about the serum?" Four asks.

"I don't know, we can't just not inject everyone Max will notice that. And we can't give them a fake injection, because then when Jeanine goes to control them she'll notice." Eric pulls at the piercing above his brow before moving to scratch the top of his head.

"What if you just don't inject one or two people?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" Eric returns.

"I mean what if, for example, you don't inject me after initiations over, and that way the next day I could run around and follow the leaders. We need to get rid of them, right? So I follow to Abnegation and I take Max out, long distance of course, I mean you've seen me, I'm good I could do it." Eric and Four share a look before turning back to me.

"That won't work." Eric says.

"Why not?"

"Jeanine," Four speaks up this time, "Who is going to take care of Jeanine."

"Why not you?" I ask.

"I don't see why not?" Four agrees, turning to Eric to get his approval.

"If you agree to do this Penelope you are putting your own life at risk, you could get caught, and if you get caught they will kill you."

"My parents and my little sister are Abnegation, I'm not going to let them get killed just because Max and Jeanine are on a power trip, that's wrong. If I have to die in order to save them, then so be it." _It's worth it. _

We all sit in silence for the next couple minutes, mulling over everything that we've just decided. My stomach growls loud enough for Eric and Four to hear, I immediately grab my stomach and pray that by some miracle they didn't just hear that.

"Hungry Penelope?" Eric asks while standing up and moving into the kitchen.

"Yes! I haven't eaten since this morning." I follow Eric into the kitchen. He pulls raw meat and vegetables out of his fridge before turning to me, "Do you know how to cook steak?" he asks.

"Abnegation eats mainly chicken breast, and canned or frozen foods, we were so far from the farms we never got any variety." Eric gives me a look of pity, coming from anyone else it wouldn't bother me, but coming from Eric it just makes me angry. He seems to take notice of my anger and pulls a pan out from a cabinet to his left.

"It's really simple, just throw some butter in the pan and let if melt, sprinkle each side of the meat with salt and pepper, throw it in the pan let it cook for five-ten minutes on each side. Four?" calls Eric.

"No thank you," Four seems to have known already that Eric would ask him if he too was hungry, "I'm going to go now, I want to go check out the loading docks, the sun should be going down soon and Erudite will be coming by around that time."

"Good idea," Eric turns back to me as Four walks out the front door, "do you know how to make baked potatoes?" he asks.

"Yes, actually I do." Eric smiles at this, a genuine smile that I see out of the corner of my eye, as soon as I've taken notice it is gone and he has turned his back to me.

The remainder of our time spent in the kitchen is in silence, I prepare the potatoes and set the table while Eric goes about fixing our plates and grabbing drinks.

Only after I've begun to cut into my stake does Eric speak up, "I'm proud of you, you really are Dauntless."

I say nothing but raise my brow in question.

"I didn't expect you to offer to take out Max like you did, you are brave. I had no right to speak to you the way I did in the bathroom this morning." We don't make eye contact as he speaks, when he's done he reaches for his glass of water and I wipe at my face with a napkin.

"Do you really think you are a cruel person?" I ask him.

"I know I am. I've known since I was a little kid that I didn't belong in Erudite, sure I was smart, but even as a child my parents knew I didn't belong, I was a cruel kid and that carried over into adulthood-"

I cut him off, "You know labels like that, labels you and people around you put on yourself are complete bullshit, right? If you don't like the way you are perceived by others then all you have to do is change yourself. You can be a leader and not be cruel, that isn't a necessary trait. Eric you are a good person, I know that and Four knows it as well, I understand that you are acting the way you do right now because it is necessary for your survival, but when all of this is over you need to drop the façade."

If I thought Eric were a man capable of expressing himself easily he might be crying right now, but that's not the kind of man he is, instead he leans back in his chair and drops his silverware down onto his plate. His arms cross over his chest, his biceps bulge out and his pierced brow rises up in a comical fashion.

"Miss Penelope Cline, if I knew you less I might think that you actually like me, that you care for me." For a moment I think that's true, but then I think_: if you knew me better you'd know that I do actually like you, a lot._

As soon as that thought races through my head I banish is and instead let out a ridiculous laugh that I pray covers up my real emotions for Eric.

When we finish eating I clear the table and begin to wash the dishes, "You don't need to do that," Eric come up behind me, I can feel his presence behind me, if I were to lean back just and inch we would be touching…

The plate I hold in my hand slips, crashing to the bottom of the sink and shattering into pieces, instantly I got to pick the piece out of the sink, leaning forward, with both hands scooping up pieces of the ceramic, and just like that one slices into the palm of my hand and I let out a gasp.

Eric, who had been standing behind me the entire time leans into me so his chest is flush with my back and grabs my bleeding hand in one of his own, he turns the faucet so it runs warm.

"I'm sorry-" I try to apologize.

"Don't," he says running my hand under the warm water before cleaning it with soap, "accidents happen."

I blame the emotional and physical toll of this entire day for what I do next, for it truly is a moment of weakness and my body finally feels like it's going to give in.

Eric holds my right hand in his own, a white towel is held firmly between our hands, and my left arm is resting against my own chest, while he uses his own to support himself against the counter. I turn left and bury my head into his chest, Eric moves quickly, pulling my bleeding hand in between us before wrapping his left arm around my shoulder.

I do not cry, even though I can feel the tears ready to fall, and that is the only thing I am proud of in this very moment. That and the fact that his embrace is warm, and every inch of my skin that touches his is on fire.

I'm not sure how long we stand there like that, but when we do finally pull apart Eric wraps up my hand before escorting me back to the dormitory, when we get there everyone else is asleep.

"I'm sorry, for breaking into your apartment, and spying on you, for cutting my hand open. I should-"

Eric cuts me off, his hand grabs the back of my neck, his fingertips play with the hair on the base of my neck. His other hand takes hold of mine and he slowly drags me closer towards him. My heart is beating frantically inside of my chest, I can feel sweat coming out of every pore on my body, this is the closest, most intimately I have ever been with a man, this hold seems so much stronger then our hug earlier today.

Eric begins to lean in close and I cant stop my head from jerking to the side, I've never been kissed before, Eric doesn't falter though, he leans in so his cheek brushes against my own, then whispers into my ear so closely, I can feel his breath, and his lips, "Stop apologizing." He kisses the side of my head quickly before releasing me entirely and disappearing down the hallway.

Every hair on my body stands on end, my hand burns from where he held it, my ear and hair is on fire from where his lips touched me, my neck aches for his touch again.

Suddenly I understand why Abnegation has always been so against intimacy displayed out in the open for everyone to see, if simple touches and kisses were this powerful, if they had such an affect on me, then what would a real kiss be like? What about sex?

* * *

**Sorry it took so long to update, I meant to post this about two weeks ago but I've been busy with work and school, I'm actually on vacation right now, but I get home tomorrow, so hopefully you'll be getting more regular updates soon. Please review to let me know what you think of this chapter, I am quite proud of it. Also thank you so much to everyone whose been taking the time to review, follow, and favorite lately, I love you all! Also what do you guys think of the ending? To emotional? To girly? Love it? Hate it? Lemme know, much love!**


	13. Chapter Thirteen

The Second Day of Every Third Month – Chapter Thirteen

I wake to Tris pushing on my shoulder, "It's Visiting Day, Pen, get up!"

I roll over out of bed and fall to the floor, Tris and Christina are both already dressed, and wait for me as I run around the room trying to find something to wear. My whole body aches as I search for clothes in my trunk, I purposefully ignore the mirror I know is sitting in there. I can tell my nose is swollen with every inhale of breath I take.

In the end I borrow a pair of Christina's pants and a red shirt I do not remember buying, but found in my trunk anyways. We are just about to leave when Eric enters the dormitory.

"Listen up!" He starts, leaning against the railing at the top of the steps, I jump only slightly at his loud tone of voice "I want to give you some advice about today." _Eric and advice?_ Christina and Tris both seem to be thinking the same thing as we all three share a questioning look.

"If by some miracle your families do come to visit you…" He stops for a moment and assesses each of our face, when he stops on my face he looks indifferent and immediately my chest begins to ache. "… Which I doubt, but if by some miracle I am wrong, it's best that you do not seem too attached. That will make it easier for you, and easier for them. Faction before blood, initiates. Attachment to your family suggests you are not entirely pleased with your faction, which would be shameful. That being said, I will be monitoring your interactions with your families today, you will not be graded on this, but I will remember how you treat your family today."

This deep in training we all know when Eric is threatening us, and that speech was most definitely a threat. On our way out he stops Tris and I.

"Stiffs, your visitors are already here, follow me." He turns on his heal and begins to walk down the hall in the opposite direction of the Pit.

Tris and I sprint to catch up and keep pace with Eric's long strides. "What's going on?" I ask him.

He ignores me while rounding a corner, he pulls a set of keys out of his pockets and opens the door. The room we walk into is small and dark, on the far side there is a glass window looking into another room. Four is standing in front of the glass, watching our families mingle with one another.

"You got the cameras?" Eric asks Four, who nods his head in response while holding up a handheld computer.

"You got the Priors and I'll take the Clines." Eric grabs me by the bicep and pulls me into the other room, "Your daughter is in the other room." He tells the Prior's who quickly get up from their seats and leave us.

My mother is in a wheel chair, a blanket covers her lap, it glows a faint blue color. Immediately I rush to her and drop to my knees in front of her. "Mom?"

"I am fine, Penelope." Her voice is more beautiful then I remember it to be. She reaches out and brushes the hair away from my face.

She glows in her seat and for a moment I regret ever leaving Abnegation because of the woman sitting in front of me. What did she ever do to anyone to end up this way?

"Can you walk?" I ask her, gently touching the blue blanket, which I discover is cold to the touch.

"Not currently, my dead, but don't you worry, those Erudite doctors say that I will be up and walking in no time at all, we just need to wait for the burns to heal." She smiles and my heart feels light again.

My father is sitting in the chair next to her, with Rose pulled tight against his side. The paternal look is new on his features, but I welcome it all the same.

"Father," I stand before him, not expecting much in the way of a greeting, but am surprised when he gets up from his seat and wraps his arms around me. Rose, too, is pulled into the awkward hug.

Over my left shoulder I see Eric take the two chairs the Prior's had been sitting in, placing one behind me and the other next to it.

"Why are we meeting like this?" I ask no one in general.

"Were killing two birds with one stone, you need to see your parents and so do I." Eric says, crossing his arms over his chest, I know he isn't trying to intimidate anyone but my parents still exchange scared looks as his biceps bulge out and his face settles into its customary scowl.

"Oh, Penelope, we've missed you so much!" My mother laments to me, I know she's secretly just trying to move the conversation along.

"Truthfully," My father begins, leaning forward in his seat, "Abnegation is just not the same without you, my dear."

I am shocked for a moment to hear such words of affection coming from my father, but I quickly recover, "I've missed you guys so much. I'm so sorry I wasn't there that day when they attacked the house, I could have done something!" As soon as the words spill from my mouth rage fills my body along with regret. Eric, seeing that I'm likely to blow up, grabs my chair and pulls it towards his.

The metal legs of the chair sliding along the concrete floor emits a loud screech which we all blatantly ignore. Eric's arm rests on the back of my chair when he's done, I can feel him playing with my hair but I say nothing.

"No, sweetie, you could not have, we were targeted, had you been there, you too might be sitting in a wheelchair now." I know she's right but that doesn't make it any easier. Talking about the wheelchair just makes me angrier. I white knuckle grip the seat of my chair.

"Eric, I believe you said you had something to tell us earlier?" My father asks, letting Rose down from his lap, gently he crosses his ankle over his knee, folding his hands together and placing them in his lap. Rose looks around the room for a while before her eyes land on Eric, she begins to make her way towards him, but before she is within reach of him I pull her over to me and hold her in a hug.

"Erudite plan to use the Dauntless to march on Abnegation. The day is set for the day after Initiation is complete." Eric pauses for a moment to study my parent's faces, neither of them look surprised, and for a moment I am confused but then I realize that they must be part of the resistance. "Were working on a plan right now to stop them, but it's important that you guys know, so you can get as many people out just in case things don't go down the way they should, it's a long ways off but this just gives you guys more time to make sure things go smoothly on your end." Eric leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest again while my parents lean their heads in together and begin to whisper.

"Rosie-posie?" I question my sister while letting her out of my hold.

"Yes, Penny?" She asks me, her blonde hair has fallen out of her bun and is a mess of knots on top of her head.

"Have you been good for Mother and Father while I've been gone?" I ask, twisting her hair back into a bun for her. The grey Abnegation rags she wears dull down her beauty and make her look less happy then I know she truly is, but I suppose that is the point.

"Yes." She tells me look all around the room, avoiding my eyes.

I prepare myself to chastise her when the door opens and Tris steps in with her parents followed by Four. Rosie launches herself at Tris while letting out a high-pitched squeal of "Beatrice!" Tris catches my sister in her arms easily and pulls her in for a hug.

I quickly go over and greet the Prior's with awkward hugs before going back and sitting in my seat, Four has pulled in more chairs from the other room so we all now sit in a circle. Eric still sits with his arm resting against the back of my chair, but he does not play with my hair this time. To my left are Four and Tris who both sit awkwardly in their seats, my parents sit across from Eric and I while the Priors are to our right. Rosie stands in the middle of the circle before turning in a circle and launching herself at Four.

To my surprise Four quickly snatches her up into his arms and deposits her onto his knee where he gently begins to bounce her up and down.

"There are a couple of things that we need to just get off of all of our chests before we really begin to strategize about this. I'm divergent." Four says in huff and Tris and I are the only ones to gasp in surprise. "And," Four picks up again, "I believe that Tris may also be divergent." This time I am the only one who gasps.

Tris gives me an apologetic look before nodding her head. "Why are you telling us this? I know that Erudite is hunting divergent's and that Abnegation hides them…"

"Were just laying everything out on the table, no more lies, this is only going to work if we are 100% truthful with each other." Four continues to go on, speaking about his divergence but I blank for a moment, Eric gets up from his seat beside me and leaves the room, he comes back a minute later with Tori behind him. He grabs another chair and throws it down next to his.

"This is how things are going to work when all of this is over," He says, leaning back in his chair, "We five are going to lead Dauntless into a new era, were going to put things back the way they should have always been, a council of leaders for each faction, with each faction being able to check the others, no more secret wars or only one faction being in charge." Eric sighs and slouches in his chair slightly while Tori leans forward and begins to explain our plans to take down Erudite and the Dauntless leadership.

"Are you alright?" I whisper to him.

Eric ignores me, the scowl on his face deepens momentarily and he looks as though he has aged ten years in ten minutes.

I lean forward, my elbows resting on my knees, I slide left let toward Eric until our knees are touching. If he notices he doesn't say anything, instead he curls his arm around my shoulders and pulls himself up straight in his chair.

* * *

After dinner Christina, Tris, and I are all walking back to the dormitory when Christina finally asks the question I know she's been meaning to ask since our parents left.

"Where did you guys go, with Eric this morning?"

"To meet our parents in private," I tell her, "my parents were in an accident a while ago and they're still recovering, so…"

"Tris, were your parents in an accident too?" Christina asks, sounding genuinely concerned.

"No, they were probably just being Abnegation-like and refusing to leave the Cline's without helping hands." Tris lies on her toes, and I'm surprised Christina can't read threw it.

"Rankings go up tonight." I say, burrowing into the pillows on my bed.

"How do you guys think you did?" Will asks, coming over to sit next to Christina.

"I don't even want to think about." Tris huffs, sitting down on my bed.

"Me neither," I say rolling over to face everyone else.

"Are you kidding me, Penelope?" Will asks jumping up from his seat, "I wouldn't be surprised if your top three, you've been kicking ass lately." Will's reaction makes me excited and worried at the same time, if I'm ranked highly that means I get a good job, it also means that there will be a target on my back.

Everyone goes silent as we watch Four and Eric enter to room, under his arm Four holds the chalkboard that will have our rankings on it. He pulls it out from underneath his arm and I squeeze my eyes shut. I can feel everyone rushing past to look at the board, slowly I stand on top of my bed and eye the board.

1 – Edward

2 – Penelope

3 – Peter

4 – Will

5 – Christina

6 – Molly

7 – Tris

And written in red chalk:

8 – Drew

9 – Al

10 - Myra

_We're in. _

As soon as everyone has seen there rankings Molly decides to open her fat mouth and complain, pointing towards Christina, "I beat her! I beat her in minutes, and she's ranked above me?"

"And?" Christina smiles, crossing her arms.

"If you intend to secure yourself a high rank, I suggest you don't make a habit of losing to low-ranked opponents." Says Four, everyone immediately shuts up and he leaves followed closely by Eric.

Molly turns towards Tris and points an accusatory finger at her, "You are going to pay for this." Molly begins to walk off but I stop her before she's out the door, with my hand on her elbow.

"What?" she asks.

I answer with a strong right hook to her jaw.

* * *

**DUN DUN DUNNNNNN. I think we all know what event is coming next! Edward's going to get stabbed in the eye, but what else? You will have to wait to find out! Once again just thank you to everyone for reviewing/following/favoriting, I'm sorry there was no fluff in this chapter but I promise there will be in the next! Much love!**


	14. Chapter Fourteen

The Second Day of Every Third Month – Chapter Fourteen

I wake to the sound of someone screaming bloody murder in the night, I jolt up in my bed but am immediately forced to lay back down when a heavy hand pushes back on my shoulder. The hand pressed into my shoulder slides up, the sweaty palm slick against the skin of my neck. My attackers thumb pushes up under my chin, fully exposing my neck, I feel cold metal press into the soft skin there.

Pressure is applied and I can feel the jagged blade slowly cutting into the skin. Warm blood slowly rolls down my neck and I am hyper aware of my body. A thin layer of sweat seems to cover my body instantly, my heart slams in my chest, beating so fast I can't keep count, my hands lay at my sides. My hands lay at my sides.

The knife begins to move across my neck and I stiffen for a second, before twisting my arm up under my attackers and slapping the knife out of his hand. As soon as the knife clatters to the floor I can hear his footsteps as he runs away. I cover my neck with my right hand and fall back onto the bed. The lights come on and I stand to find the commotion, to find someone, to find help.

Tris is sitting on floor on Edwards's chest three beds over, trying to calm him down, there is a knife sticking out of his eye, and blood covers the floor. I move forward to help pull Edward to his knees but Christina stops me with an arm around my bicep.

"Penelope you're bleeding!" She tells me, pushing me down onto a bed and wrapping her hands around my throat. I try to push her off but after she quickly shows me the blood that covers her hands I lay still.

On the other side of the room Myra is screaming hysterically, the other initiates are all running around trying to help. Will and Al are trying to shush Myra, Molly is screaming for help, and Drew stands just behind Tris' shoulder, his face is a sickly shade of green but he doesn't leave. Peter is missing and it wouldn't take an erudite genius to figure out why.

Christina continues to apply pressure to my neck when Four and Eric run into the room, they head straight for Edward, who has finally stopped screaming and is laying as calmly on the floor as I can imagine a man with a knife in his eye is able to.

"Penelope's been cut!" Christina screams at the two men who are pulling Edward up onto his feet now. They both turn in the direction of her scream, and when they see the blood that's covering the front of her shirt, and no doubt mine as well, they stop moving and speak in quick whispers before Four directs Tris to take Eric's spot holding up Edward.

She quickly slides under Edwards arm and begins to help carry him out of the room. She gives me a worried look, I attempt to smile at her, but the muscles in my cheeks pull at the skin in my neck and I can feel a fresh wave of blood pooling on my chest. I can hear my heart thumping in my ears as Eric steps forward, directing Christina to go find him a pair of our exercise pants. I cover my wound with my own hands as Christina jumps up and begins to search through chests to find a pair of pants.

Eric drops to his knees in front of me and covers my hands with his own. His hands are huge, wrapping all the way around my neck, but I trust him not to hurt me.

"You're going to be alright, Initiate." He tells me, "I need you to sit up."

Christina is back now, standing at Eric's side, a pair of stretch pants in her hands. "Fold them so it's just one leg," He instructs her, she does as he says. "Okay Penelope, I'm going to let go." As soon as those words leave his mouth my eyes widen and my heart slams painfully in my chest, I try to shake my head but he is holding on so tightly to my neck that it barely moves.

"Your hands are underneath mine, Just keep applying that same amount of pressure." His eyes are calming, and his tone is soft for once, "Everything is going to be alright." I believe him.

I nod my head the slightest bit and strengthen my grip on my own neck. "Christina give me the pants, I need you to hold her hair up, so it's off the back of her neck." Christina does as he says and he gives me one more calming look before removing his hands quickly. I can feel the blood begin to flow again with the loss of pressure and my fingers go numb, I try to squeeze at my neck but I can't tell if I'm doing it right.

Eric ties the pants in a knot around the back of my neck so tight it might have hurt if there wasn't adrenaline pumping through my body. My hands are stuck underneath the pants, holding my neck closed.

"I can't-"

"Don't talk." He says, and next thing I know he's pulled me up into his arms and were running down the hallway towards the infirmary.

Dots dance across my vision again, this time instead of coming and going they expand, I can feel my heart slowing down in my chest, it takes everything I have in me to hold my head up, but eventually I can't do it anymore and my head knocks into Eric's shoulder, he looks down briefly, "Stay awake." He orders, his voice firm.

"Hmm." I hum back in response, too tired to respond.

"Penelope," he shakes me in his arms slightly, we've stopped moving. "You need to stay awake." He emphasizes each word before setting me down on a cot. Were in the infirmary, people are running all around us.

I will my eyes to stay open, but the dots are back and they're growing in size, blacking out my vision. When my vision is gone I can no longer stay awake, my head falls back onto the pillow.

* * *

I wake this time to the sound of a dull but constant beeping in my ears. My throat is sore, my eyes are blurry, the only sense I can fully rely on are my ears. I push myself up in bed, my head swims for a moment as all the blood rushes through my body.

"Take it easy." A voice to my left tells me, resting a delicate hand on my shoulder.

The nurse helps me to sit up before handing me a cup with a straw. "Take it slow, I'm going to call the Doctor in and inform the others." I sip slowly on my water, my vision clears up after a few minutes, and the dry ache in my throat is gone, but swallowing is still painful.

"Ms. Cline, glad to see you are awake. How are you feeling?" A tall, olive skinned man with black hair asks me, he drums his fingers on a clipboard at the end of my cot. His knuckles are covered in tattoos.

I rub at the bandages on my throat, "It hurts." I take a moment to clear my throat before continuing, "My throat hurts."

"Yes," He chuckles, taking his glasses out of the pocket of his white lab coat, "that is to be expected in a case such as yours." He pauses when someone knocks on the door. He straightens out his tie before calling for whomever is on the other side to join us.

Eric and Four step through the door first, followed by Max, and an eyepatch wearing Edward. _How many days have I been out for? _

"What's going on?" My voice is rough and quiet, I pull the sheets off my body and go to stand. "You're not kicking me out are you? It's not my fault I got stabbed, I can still fight! You guys don't need to do this!" I back myself into the only empty corner in the room, prepared to talk myself out of a life of factionlessness.

"Sit down, initiate." Eric growls, I haven't noticed until now the vain that's popping on his forehead.

I sit back down on the cot, dropping my hands in my lap.

"You were attacked in your sleep, we can't and wouldn't kick you out for that." Max says stepping forward. "My two best transfers attacked in one night." He huffs out before leaning against the counter on the opposite side of the room.

"How's she doing, Doc?" He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"She's recovering marvelously, the Med Packs from Erudite have sped up the healing process on both of the initiates ten-fold, and we should be able to remove her bandages right now, if you would not mind waiting?" The doctor asks, moving to kneel in front of me.

"By all means," Max waves him on.

"Ms. Cline when Eric brought you in we had to do emergency surgery in order to repair the damage that was done, what this means is that we were not able to go about things in such a way as to diminish the amount of scar tissue that was left behind, keep in mind that what you are about to see is not fully healed, with further treatments and some cosmetic surgery we could easily cover the scar up, or if you would like you could keep it as is.

"Now the area is going to be a little tender for the next twenty-four hours so I want you to take it easy, no sudden movement, keep the foods as soft as possible, no rough housing, and definitely no fighting." I can feel the doctor peel the last layer of gauze away from my neck. I reach up to touch the scar and he guides my hand to it. It feels long and tender, raised up slightly from the rest of the skin on my neck. It starts just below my right ear and moves down diagonally before stopping an inch above the hollow in my neck.

"I'm alive," I say to myself, before pushing up off the bed and standing.

"Yes, you are." He laughs again. "Come and see me tomorrow after you eat lunch, alright?"

"Yes, sir."

With that the doctor exits the room, leaving just Max, Eric, Edward, Four and I.

"How long have I been asleep for?" I ask no one in particular.

Eric checks the watch on his wrist, "A little over twelve hours."

My eyes bug out of my head for a moment but I don't say anything, Max has pushed himself of the counter and is coming towards Edward and I.

"You two are the best initiates we have this year, not just amongst transfers, I need you two to continue to do well. I put a lot on the line fighting to keep the two of you off the streets today. Make sure that I don't regret that decision." Max turns to leave and I feel the faint need to follow him, to show him that I'm not weak, that I didn't need him to fight for me.

"Eric, take care of this." He calls over his shoulder with a nonchalant wave of his hand.

The door swings closed behind Max and Edward and I immediately slump against each other. Across from us Eric and Four stand tall, arms crossed over their chests. Eric has an eyebrow raised in silent question while Four looks bored to still be standing here with us.

Four drops his arms down to his sides before speaking to us, "There are no surveillance cameras in the dormitory, which means we are relying entirely on eye witness testimonies in order to find out who attacked you. Do you two need or want to be separated before I begin asking questions?"

We both shrug our shoulders and so he continues, "Did either of you see who attacked you?" We both shake our heads 'No.'

"Do you know of anyone that would want to hurt you?" I shake my head and Edward shrugs next to me.

Four lets out a breath of hot air, before rubbing at the wrinkles on his forehead.

"We all know who did it, so why are you either bothering to ask us these stupid questions." I speak up, immediately regretting it when Four glares me down and Eric continues to stand there silently with his eyebrow raised.

"It was Peter," says Edward, "Penelope and I are the top ranked he was just below us, he wants to be first but he knows he could never beat us, so he tried to take us out."

"Without evidence we can't do anything." Eric states as if we should care.

"You said there are no cameras in the dormitory?" I ask Four, an idea coming to me. He nods his head and I continue, "What about in the hallway just outside the dormitory? When Peter cut my throat-" Eric shoots me a glare and I correct myself, "Sorry, when I was attacked, after I knocked the knife out of his hand he ran away, presumably out into the hallway. When they turned the lights on everyone was still in the dormitory except for Peter.

"So, that means that either one of two things happened: the first being that someone snuck into the dormitory, attacked us and then fled, and then Peter also fled cause he was scared, in which case you guys should kick him out for being cowardly; or, Peter attacked us and fled because he didn't want to get caught attempting to murder two initiates, both of whom he failed to kill, in which case you should kick him out for being a failure and also for attempting to murder us."

Four seems slightly annoyed that he hadn't already thought of my plan but he quickly shakes it off and leaves the room, most likely to go check the cameras to see if I was right.

Edward follows Four out of the room shortly after, leaving Eric and I alone. When the door closes behind Edward Eric takes a step forward and stops. He seems to think about what he's going to do next before taking another step forward. He hesitates and I meet him halfway across the room.

Eric doesn't say anything, he doesn't need to, he doesn't move closer either, just standing this close is enough for me to feel comforted and he seems to understand that. I'm not sure how long we stay like that until he finally speaks up.

"I told you, you'd be alright."

* * *

**Sorry this update took so long! What did you guys think? Do you like the ending? Edwards still here!? But whats going to happen to Peter? How does this change everything? Will anything change? Who knows? Thanks again to everyone who takes the time to review/follow/favorite, you are all beautiful and keep it up! Much love!**


	15. Chapter Fifteen

The Second Day of Every Third Month – Chapter Fifteen

Things between Eric and I are not the same after I am attacked. Not that we are together enough for me to really notice, but he gets this look in his eye whenever he sees me, like I'm weak. I don't waste any spare time thinking about it.

The second stage is nothing like the first, if anything it is more ruthless because none of us know how well the others are doing, that is until Eric and Four start showing us our rankings once a week. Tris has jumped to the top spot, by some miracle the second stage seems to be her forte, and I am proud of her. I no longer worry for her. Edward and I swap back and forth for second place, but after that the rankings seem to be very random, with transfer and Dauntless born initiates jumping around all over the board.

It is our third week in stage two, we have two weeks to go, so far only half of our fears have been revealed to us. Four says that we won't see all of them until the final stage.

I'm the last name he calls for today's training. Eric is brooding in the corner of the room, I ignore him.

"Don't let Peter psych you out." Four tells me when I first walk into the room, "He is the only thing holding you back from shooting ahead of Edward." Peter has turned into my biggest fear over the last couple weeks, just the mention of his name alone makes me start sweating. Fortunately Peter is no longer with us, two days after he attacked Edward and I he was kicked out of Dauntless, sentenced to live a life of factionless-ness.

"I know, I just can't figure out how to beat him. As soon as he pops up in my head I just shut down." I try to explain myself, but I really, honestly have no idea how to conquer my fear of Peter.

"You were attacked Penelope, no one expects you to come out on the other side unscathed. You have battle scars, ones you can see and some you can't. If it helps at all, which it may or may not, if Peter ever steps foot in this facility the guards have orders to shoot him on sight. He's never going to get to you in here." Four has placed a heavy hand on my shoulder, and that gesture from him is all the comfort I need.

"Thanks." I swallow thickly, I can feel tears prickling my eyes but I ignore them and lay back in the simulation chair.

"Ready?" Four questions and I nod in the affirmative, he sinks the needle into my neck and within sixty seconds the world has gone black.

* * *

For once the Abnegation Sector is quite, there are no people rushing around trying to help each other, it is quiet except for the sound of the wind blowing.

I begin to make my way towards my family home, the closer and closer I get the more excited I become, it feels as if I haven't seen them in years, will they even remember me?

When I've made it to the house I skip the polite knock my brain is telling me to do and instead I push through the door. In the living room my parents and sister are sitting crammed together on our couch, standing above them is Jeanine Matthews and her Erudite posse who follow her wherever she goes.

I rush forward, prepared to fight Jeanine and her posse, but an invisible force pulls me back, pulls me away from Jeanine and out of the house. The front door slams closed in front of me and the house, my house, erupts in flames. As the house burns I scream, I try and fight the invisible force, but after what feels like hours of fighting an opponent I can't see I give in, the force pulls me backwards, dragging me across Chicago on my ass.

When we finally stop were in Dauntless, in the Pit, I know something is wrong when I see that it is empty and I can hear no one. Peter steps forward out of the darkness and I can't move, not because of this invisible force but because I am terrified, terrified of the power he holds over me, I know he can and will hurt me.

He's stopped moving now, there is a foot of space in between us but that is all, in his hand he holds a jagged, gross looking knife. I prepare myself for the cut but it never comes, I open my eyes and see that Peter is looking at something over my shoulder, I turn around, behind me about twenty yards away, at the edge of the Pit are my friends, seeing them fills me with everything I need to know I can beat Peter.

I turn back to him and his eyes widen in surprise when I knock the knife from his hands, he puts up a fight but I am too determined to let him place any hits, I knock his legs out from underneath him and have him in a choke hold when something happens. Hands appear all over my body, pulling me off of Peter, he rises up above me and the knife is in his hand again, there is nothing I can do to stop him this time, as I lay bleeding out on the floor the hands let me go, I hear them walking around me, and when all of their shoes are in my line of sight I slowly crane my head up and I am shocked when I see all of my friends standing before me, they've betrayed me.

When my vision finally fades I wait for the lights to come on but they never do, then the clicking starts, the tap, tap, tapping of eight legged freaks across the hard concrete floor. They come in all sizes, I can feel them rubbing up against me, I try my hardest not to freak out but occasionally I swat them away. The smallest ones I imagine to be smaller than ants, but the big ones are as big as the train cars we ride in, I can feel them standing over me, I want to scream, but I don't. I've been laying there for days when the starvation sets in, the room remains black but my eyes have adjusted, if I want to live I will have to eat them, my stomach rolls at the thought, if I want to die then I can continue to just lay here on this floor. But, I want to live, and so as quick as I can I pick up one of the smallest ones I can find, shoving it in my mouth, as I chew the lights come on and the spiders recede.

When all of the spiders are gone I stand again, I'm in the hallway just outside of the dormitory where my fellow initiates and I sleep. Eric comes around the corner, he's wearing Dauntless black but it's not his usual outfit of t-shirt and vest, instead he's wearing the same outfit he was when he found me hiding in his closet, an all-black tuxedo. I turn to my left to great him but have miss-judged the distance between us, my shoulder knocks against his arm, "I'm so sorry," I apologize.

His hand rises up and snakes around the back of my neck, his fingers snaking into the hair there, I am reminded of that night a few weeks ago, when we had been in the same exact position.

"Stop apologizing," he whispers in my ear, his voice is deeper than usual now, his warm breath caresses my ear, and this time when he moves to kiss my lips I do not stop him.

His lips are both firm and soft against mine, the stubble on his chin rubs against my face and only seems to add to the sensation. Innocently I follow his lead, allowing him to slip his tongue into my mouth, his hand in my hair tightens, but it doesn't hurt. His other hand which had previously been lying limp at his side wraps around my waist.

Eric pulls back for a moment, our lips disconnecting, his hand in my hair tugs slightly and I lean my head back, allowing him to rub his nose along the underside of my jaw before he begins to pepper the same spot with kisses. I pull him towards me and we move backwards until I am backed up against the wall.

His hand in my hair moves so that he is now holding me at the waist, effortlessly he picks me up, instinctually my legs wrap around his waist.

When his hands go up to the buttons on my shirt I wrap my slender fingers around his wrists.

"No, Eric, I'm not ready for that." I tell him, and for a moment he backs off.

Then like lightening his hands shoot forward and he's ripped all the buttons off the front of my shirt, his right hand snakes up into my hair and he yanks on it painfully this time, I whimper but he ignores me.

His mouth comes up to rest by my ear, and he whispers, "This isn't about what you want," his teeth connect with my earlobe and I whimper again but his other hand just comes up to cover my mouth.

"This is about what's mine for the taking…" He whispers as his hands move for the button on my pants.

* * *

I shoot up straight in the chair, my heart racing and tears running down my face. As soon as I realize where I am I wipe the tears from my eyes.

"Well," I chuckle, "that was… unexpected."

Four and Eric do not join in on my awkward laughter, instead they trade glares with one another.

Eric stands up, his frame seems larger than life from where I am sitting.

"Four, get out." He grumbles, moving forward out of the corner he had placed himself in earlier on.

"I'm not sure if that is appropriate or-" Eric cuts him off with a growl.

Four looks to me now and I give him a nod for reassurance. "I'll be just outside," he says before leaving the room.

Eric crosses his arms over his chest, his brow raises to ever impressive heights, I take this moment to really study him, over the past couple weeks I've been so intent on ignoring him I haven't noticed the changes.

His hair which he usually kept meticulously short has now grown out, the sides are still shaved closely, but the top of his head, where his hear was already long is so long now that he keeps it slicked back, it seems as well, that his hair has lost its color recently, what used to be a bright blonde has now transformed into a dull and dirty blonde. His face altogether, while still attractive, looks horrible, dark bags under his eyes, his beard is almost fully formed. If I were to guess he probably hasn't been sleeping well. Instead of his usual ensemble Eric is wearing an all-black sweat suit and sneakers.

"Well?" He questions, leaning back against the wall.

"Well what? You're the one that wanted to talk." I huff, rising up from the chair, "listen, if you're not going to say anything can I leave? I sort of have better things I could be doing…"

That seems to piss him off, "Better things to do? And what would those be, initiate?"

"Well, Instructor, I could be training? Or resting, which looks like something you might want to try doing. My fears are my own you don't need to concern yourself with them." I turn and storm out of the room, ignoring him until he pulls me back towards him, his hand wrapped around my wrist.

"Penelope, stop." I do, for now, I turn back to him and wait, "I would never…"

He stumbles for a minute with the words, "I'm not that kind of guy." He finally says.

"You mean you're not a rapist?" I question, "Well, that's good to know." I turn to leave again, this time instead of pulling me back he just continues to talk, I stop with my hand on the door.

"Penelope, I would never hurt you, not like that and not in any other way, unless I thought it beneficial to your training. I know how you see me, and I know what everyone in this place thinks of me, but you have no reason to be afraid of me, not for those reasons, never for those reasons." He goes quite, and I'm getting ready to leave when I remember something.

"I don't think I'm afraid of you in that way. Four said earlier that what we see in our fear landscapes isn't always what were afraid of. I think my brain knows I like you," I blush at this, but not looking at him makes it easier to keep talking, "and that's why you were the one in my fears, because right now I'm vulnerable to you, but I've never been afraid you would ever do anything that I didn't want to do."

I look back to him, and he's just standing there, his arms pulled behind his back, but in his eyes it looks like he believes me.

I pass Four in the hallway, "He looks tired, make sure he gets some rest."

My feet seem to have a mind of their own and before I know it I am standing outside of the tattoo parlor, Riley waves me in from the desk.

"Long time no see, girl!" He pulls me around the counter into a hug. It takes me a moment to register what's going on before I wrap my arms around his midsection.

"Hey!" Riley is warm and familiar, hugging him doesn't give me anxiety like I know it would if I were hugging Eric.

"Lemme see that bad boy," Riley motions to my neck and I tilt my head back so that he can see the fully healed scar.

"Holy shit. I'm so sorry Penelope, I should have come to see you sooner."

"It's alright, Riley, I'm sure you've been just as busy as I have."

"Now that is true, but hey, I'm glad you came by, after that punk attacked you and that other kid, Edward, I drew up some designs for you guys." Riley pulls a sheet of paper from his folder and hands it over to me.

The drawing is that of a jagged knife, with the words 'Show No Mercy' over top of it, the likeness to that of the butter knife Peter had sharpened and stabbed Edward with, then cut my throat is incredible. There is blood dripping down the blade, and flowers blooming around it.

"What do you think? The one I drew for Edward was a little different, so when you see him send him my way."

"I like it Riley, really I do. I hadn't been considering getting a tattoo in commemoration, but why the hell not? Seems like the Dauntless thing to do, doesn't it?"

"I would have to agree on that one." Riley pulls me back around behind the counter and towards the back of the shop, "So, placement wise, what are we thinking?"

"That's up to you, your design, and your placement." I sit back in the chair and wait for him to make up his mind.

In the end he chooses the inside of my right forearm, the design stretched from inside my elbow to just above the wrist, it doesn't take him long to lay it out and ink the entire thing, just over two hours, and when it's done the black and white piece of art on my arm is beautiful.

When I go to pay Riley stops me and says it's a gift, from everyone in Dauntless, because they are proud of me, for recovering so quickly and being so strong.

"So, what do you think of what they did to that Peter kid, if you don't mind me asking?" Riley asks while escorting me out of the shop, he locks up and we head down to dinner together.

"I think I would have probably done the same thing, the Abnegation in me is glad that they didn't kill him, but the Dauntless in me is angry I didn't get to exact my revenge, you know?"

Riley gives me a weird look before questioning me again, "What are you talking about, Penelope? Eric killed Peter, it was a public execution, I'll be it initiates aren't allowed, and there were three people holding guns so technically it wasn't Eric acting by himself but, they killed him. Right before you guys started the second stage he was killed, no one told you guys?"

My jaw drops and I am confused, why wouldn't they tell us, why would Four and Eric lie to us about that? "Eric, Four, and Lauren gathered all the initiates and told us he had been released to the factionless sector. That they're were orders to shoot him on sight if he ever came back into Dauntless territory." We push through the doors to the mess hall and I immediately veer in the direction of the table Four and Eric are sitting at.

"Not here, not in public." Riley says, his hand wrapped around my arm.

"Yes here, and yes in public. They can't just lie to us like that, were adults, we may not be members yet but we will be, we deserve to know, I deserved to have that closure. Do you know how fucked up my head has been thinking he's been out there, that he could come back at any time and finish the job?"

Before Riley can speak up I've made my way over to Eric and Fours table, "We need to talk, now!"

Eric and Four both stop brooding at their food for a moment to take a glance at me.

"And what would that be about, initiate?" Four asks before shoving the last of his food into his mouth.

"You lied to us," I fling my arm back motioning to the initiates all sitting at the tables behind us, "Why didn't you tell us you killed Peter?!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

In a split second Eric and Four are both standing up, Eric has his hand wrapped around my bicep and begins to pull me out of the hallway, I begin to scream but he just clamps his hand over my mouth.

The path we are taking will lead us to Eric's apartment, once were inside he lets go of my arm but keeps his hand clamped over my mouth, I sink my teeth into his fingers but still he doesn't move his hand.

"If I take my hand away from your mouth and you scream I will hurt you, do you understand, initiate?" He asks, glaring down at me.

I am infuriated that he insists on calling me initiate, but I nod my head anyways.

"You got the cameras?" Eric asks Four, who is standing over in the living room with a small handheld computer, tapping away furiously, "You've got maybe ten minutes before they go back up."

Eric nods his thanks before turning back to me, "We told you he was factionless because we still wanted you to be afraid of him."

"That makes no sense!" I begin to scream but Eric clamps his hand back over my mouth, I pry his fingers away and mumble and apology, "Sorry, I forgot, why would you want us to fear him if he's dead?"

"Because he's not."

"Wait are there cameras in here now?" I question, looking about the room.

"Max has had security doing upgrades all over the place, cameras have been installed in everyone's apartments."

_Invasion of privacy…_

"Five minutes." Four calls from the living room.

"Explain Eric, now please?"

"If he's not dead, and he's not factionless, where could he be? Who would want a power hungry idiot?"

"Jeanine?" I ask, and he nods, "But why, and how do you know?"

"I work for her remember, she approached me with the guns we were to use at the execution, they were tranquilizer bullets filled with enough fake blood to make it look real. She wants to use him to help hunt down Divergent's. He's young enough that they could send him into the other factions and he could get more insider information."

"Do you think he knows about Tris?" I worry for my best friend.

"He couldn't out rightly know, but with how well she's been doing compared to the first stage he could definitely make an educated guess with enough evidence that Jeanine could back it up."

"What are we going to do?" I grab Eric by the fabric of his sweatshirt and pull him closer to me, begging for answers.

"Thirty seconds." Four sounds off.

"I don't know," is all Eric says before he grabs me by the arms, and his lips come crashing into mine.

I can hear Four on the other side of the room mumbling about us being dramatic.

* * *

**I'm so sorry this took so long to update! I am the literal queen of writers block, I sat down to write this chapter about five times and ended up deleting it because it never came out right, but at last I am somewhat proud of this one. Please review and let me know what you think.**


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